Transcript

Well, go to chapter Luke 1 as I want to give a very practical exhortation this morning to fathers. Luke chapter 1.

This verse just grabbed me this week as I was studying and wasn’t looking for this verse, it found me, I guess you would say, but I thought, man, that’s the basis of everything we want to talk about.

Before we read it though, let me say this to you, fathers are necessary — no more than that. Fathers are essential. And the reason why it’s good to have a father’s today and to honor fathers because in doing that, you’re honoring God. It’s God’s wisdom that created the whole idea of fathers and for that matter, mothers, families.

In every study I’ve ever seen relating to fathers and their impact on children, obviously their own children. Right At 75% of the time when the father is a faithful Christian, his children become faithful believers. But if only the mom is a faithful Christian, only about 17% of the time the children become faithful Christians. Fathers are essential.

And even on a secular side of things, the studies have been done. It’s, it’s without dispute. If you have a home where there’s only a mom, a very large degree of those children, well, let’s say a much larger degree than normal, become juvenile delinquents. If you have a home where there’s one parent, but that parent is the father, you have a much higher percentage of children who do not fall into juvenile delinquency. Matter of fact, statistically a single father household has the same percentage of children who could turn out well as a household with a mom and a dad.

Interesting statistic. Now, I, I have heard a lot of feminists lately talk about our men really necessary, which makes me wanna say, how do you like those light bulbs that are burning right now? How do you the walls of the building your in. Men built those. How do you like the sewer working? It’s kind of nice, isn’t it? Men usually are crawling down into the sewers to keep them fixed and repaired. Men are essential, but fathers are essential.

Now, I’ve, I haven’t heard of any man lately — because we’ve got better sense — I haven’t heard any man lately say that.. are women, even essential. We’re saying, oh Lord, please help us. Don’t remove the ladies. We would just die without them. But what a foolish nonsense that men are somehow sort of obsolete in today’s modern feminist world. Well, I want to tell you what the word of God will have nothing to do with that. God made men to be men. God made fathers to be fathers and God made women to be women and God made mothers to be mothers. And we need each other.

It glorifies God and it’s good for us. Here’s an interesting passage of scripture about John the Baptist and we’ll just pull out one aspect of what’s here. But of all the things that the writer under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit could have emphasized about Elijah and now John the Baptist’s Ministries is this, look at it, Luke 1:17.

“It is he who will go as a forerunner before Him”. That’s John the Baptist, a forerunner before Jesus, “in the spirit and power of Elijah,” Here’s the particular thing He brings out of all the many, many things he could have brought out “to turn the hearts of the fathers back to the children, and the disobedient to the attitude of the righteous, so as to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

So the dozens of dozens, perhaps we could say hundreds of changes that would happen among a people that’s badly backslidden and turns back to God. The particular thing the the prophet said in Elijah’s Day, and and Dr. Luke says here, writing Luke under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. The particular thing is fathers, when they get right with God will turn their hearts back to their children.

Because you know what? A godless culture, children are obsolete in a godless culture. Children are left behind, they’re left out, they’re negated to a great degree, God forbid, any woman who claims to know Christ plans her life and plans her career and then decides how she’s gonna fit children in. My dear lady, you’ve got it backwards. You’ve got it upside down. You have a career. You may work outside the home. I’m not giving any judgment call on that. But you already have a responsibility. You already have a career, and that’s the children, and the husband, and the home. Then you fit the other things in because when the people are right with God, the mom and dad turns their hearts back to the children to where they ought to be in their hearts. So where the priority in place they ought to have, they begin to learn to raise their children in the discipline and in the instruction of the Lord.

And this is key in the old and it’s key in the New Testament. Remember the, the text from Deuteronomy 6:1-3, Moses is instructing the children of Israel how they’re to function as God’s people in the earth. “Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments which the Lord your God has commanded me to teach you” Moses says, the pastor says this is what God’s word says for me to give to you fathers, first of all, “that you may do them in the land where you are going over to possess it, so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the Lord your God…” So you dads love God, honor his word. Keep these biblical truths I’m giving you. Moses says to the men, and now you men take these and turn your hearts to your children to teach them to walk in these ways.

Now men, I’ve got a great strong help for you, a great strong. Now listen further than that, a great strong essential help to you — your church. You don’t have to go out here on your own. Matter of fact, it’d be sin to go out here on your own. You’re supposed to go to your church, learn from your pastor, learn from the word of God in addition to learning on your own, and then take church home to your family. And as you live your life, reiterate, bring back before your children the truths that you were taught under the word of God at your church. It’s a simple thing. It takes the pressure off. It takes the load off of you being your own independent scholar. Matter of fact, that leads to trouble many, many times. I’m telling you, I’ve been doing this in the same church for 45 years now or right at it. And I see time after time after time, certain guys rise up with some sort of gnostic mentality. They have a special insight, a special wisdom, and they can kind of be an independent spirit and go their own way and have their own gurus they’re listening to out there and pretty much ignore their local church though they keep coming and pretty soon they’re off on an unbalanced tangent, finding the niche that they’re into and they get way out of line and way outta balance and begin damaging their own spiritual life, their wife and their children.

One of the good things about God in ordering things, the way he’s ordered them is that we all stay in balance together. Now, I’m not a dictator and I’m not the final authority and I’m not the only one you learn under, but your pastors are the primary men you’re to learn under. Because John McArthur, as wonderful as he is, and John Piper, as wonderful as he is, and RC Sproul, as wonderful as he is, is not responsible before God, for your soul, your local church pastors are. And so God’s gonna give them wisdom for you. He may not give to those guys.

It’s just like your children can learn from a lot of people. Isn’t that good? They can learn a lot of good things, good qualities, good character traits from other people, but God’s ordained you, mom and dad as the primary ones there to honor and respect and look to.

Alright, we got off track a little bit there, so help me stay on track this morning. All right. Three parts to this duty that we have to be fathers who turn our hearts back to our children, which is what John the Baptist ministry would result in. John the Baptist, like Elijah of the Old Testament, would help men come back to God and when they come back to God, naturally the fruit of that’s gonna be their hearts will be turned back to the children.

That means men, that we need to learn to give our children the time that they need. You have to be intentional there. You’ll have to say no to some other things. And moms, if I might ask you to help us, please be balanced. A man is never going to have the time that the wife thinks he should have. He’s not quite the nurturer you are. No, he’s not even close to being the nurturer that you are. Your wife’s got to understand. You have strengths that your husbands do not have. You have compassions, you have mercies generally speaking, that men do not have. So you can’t try to make your husband a co-mom. But dad’s nevertheless, time is the first part of this duty.

The second part of this duty, this is all introduction, probably should be a sermon by itself. The second one is truth. You, you, you’re turning your heart back to your children to guide them, to disciple them, to model before them the truth of God’s word. As you are learning it and growing in it. You don’t just go to spend time with your child and do what you think’s right and best. Then go to church and that’s kind of a separate thing. Then go to this area over here and that’s a separate thing. No, it’s all one whole. You take the word of God, i.e. and in a figure of speech, you take church home to your family and then it spills over into the work environment. It spills over into the neighborhood, it spills over into the ball team. It affects the totality of our life or it’s not real deal at all anyway. So we bring the truth to bear as we are spending time with our children.

The third part of this duty, I would say, is transparency. It’s gonna be absolutely essential that your children look at you and say, daddy knows he’s not perfect either. Daddy has to repent too. Daddy needs a savior like I need a savior. Men be humble. Now, certainly you do not transparently share all your struggles and difficulties with your children. That would be very inappropriate. Some things you share only with your wife, some things you share only with your dearest and most trusted friend and many things you don’t share with anybody. We don’t wanna put up on these screens this morning every thought that went through your, through your mind this week, do we? But in a general way, it’s very important that dads live before their children with a humble spirit that says, sweetheart, you have to honor my authority because you’re a little sinner and that’s what you should call them. And you need a savior. But guess what? Daddy’s a sinner too, and he needs a savior. And as I’m under God’s authority, as a repenting sinner, so you’re under my authority.

So time, truth, and in that transparency, and as a side note, if I might say this point, mix it all together with fun times when you’re playing ball with them, when you’re going fishing with them, when you’re having a tea party or getting their nails painted, you can tell I raise daughters, can’t you? And in those times, just make it real. As Deuteronomy says, when you rise up in the morning. When you walk along the way, when you sit by the wayside, when you lay down at night as you’re living your life, be discerning, be prayer for God. Where can I bring out Bible truth? Not in a preaching harsh or even a correcting format most of the time, but just bringing truth to bear. And pretty soon your children are gonna think, man, the Bible covers my whole life. ’cause that’s the way my dad looks at it.

Alright, let me give you some principles now that every father should teach his children. Alright? Some principles that every father should teach his children, the first one is the most important. It’s the foundation. All the others build upon. That is the foundational principle. Dad’s who we want to teach our children gotta understand, sweetheart, you exist. God made you to know him, to love him, enjoy him and glorify him.

That’s the principle. I love the word enjoy. I love to talk about the pleasures of God because I’m tasting those I, I I I’m learning to enjoy the things of God better did your parents do like me? They set you down before a big plate of a in my mom’s case a lot of times, uh, uh, homegrown and homemade vegetables and a home cooked meal and you just didn’t want any of it, but you learn to like it. Now, you better not slide some turnip greens of white beans and cornbread and fried okra in front of me. I might bite your hand. I love it When you’re saved, the, the seeds of regeneration come into your heart and you begin a journey of learning to enjoy and love God that you didn’t even know beforehand.

We teach our sons and daughters that principle, sweetheart, you’re here, that you might know God and love God and enjoy God. And daddy’s not where he ought to be, but God’s teaching you that. And I’m telling you, no matter what happens in life, there’s nobody that loves you like God and nobody you should love. Like you love God. Again, that’s why you need a very solid church. By the time your children at Grace Life Church get through the fifth and sixth grade, they will have studied thoroughly the attributes of God so that they might know who he is. But you can’t love, you can’t love him if you don’t know him. And then when God regenerates their heart, just like the Apostle Paul, the learned Jewish Pharisee, before he was saved, he had all the head knowledge, but then God changed his heart and it became heart and head knowledge. That’s where we want our children to be.

And as I’ve said to you before, even recently, four great attributes of God we ought to bring out to our children as a regular part of our pattern. God is good. He’s all good. And only good. God is wise. He has so much wisdom. Matter of fact, I, if there’s any key to my ministry, it’s as a young man, I was implored by a teacher to beg God for wisdom. And in everything I did in the ministry, I said, God, give me wisdom. The ability to see these things from your perspective, not what man thinks is wise and good and best. God, give me wisdom to see it from your perspective because God’s all wise, he’s good, he’s all wise. Thirdly, he’s all loving. He has infinite, incomparable, eternal love for his children. He loves you. God is not a cosmic killjoy who wants to pressure you into something he loves you. And lastly, he’s all powerful. If he were vicious and mean and harsh and only about judgment, which he’s not, but if he were, still what are you gonna do about it? He’s omnipotent. Praise the Lord. He’s good, he’s wise, he’s loving and he’s powerful — attributes and traits, fathers that we wanna bring out before our children as we live our lives.

Please don’t take my exhortations to you as you need to go home and have a two hour structured formal training class with your children three days a week or five days a week. Don’t do that. Matter of fact, if I, if you had had me to weigh out the difference, I’d say forget the formal training. They do that at school. Forget the formal training. We do that at church. You train them as you live life. I’m not saying it’s wrong if you do some formal training, but it’s the formal training is useless if they’re not seeing it in the lifestyle aspect of instruction.

So in other words, as we teach our children, we want to teach them that it’s not so much about God’s rules, it’s about the wonder of the ruler who he is. He’s good and he’s wise and he’s loving and he’s powerful.

You remember our old Jerry Clower story? Do y’all remember Jerry Clower? I introduced my grandson to Jerry Clower on the way back from a hunting trip. He just thought it was great. Jerry Lauer’s aunt was ironing in the den one day and he was at her house and as he walked by, she glanced up. She said, “Jerry”, he said, “yes ma’am”, “Jerry Satan is mighty”. He said, “yes ma’am”. Then she said, “but God is almighty”. And she went on to ironing. That’s teaching in the daily lifestyle of things. I’d get my attention, wouldn’t it? Yours.

Principle number two, not only the foundational principle to know and enjoy love and glorify God. God has the marriage principle, which is that God designed marriage as one man and one woman for a one lifetime. Lemme go ahead and say, sometimes sin disrupts this ideal design and there’s grace and there’s forgiveness. But God forbid we ever iterate in any way to our children that getting divorced is an option. We should not do that. There’s grace for sin, but we should teach our children. God’s design is one man and one woman for one lifetime.

Genesis 2:24: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” As Jesus said in Matthew 19:6: “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Now that means no man can redefine it either. No man can come to God’s design and say, here’s a twist on it that fits today’s culture better — wrong, blasphemy and sin. It’s God’s idea, and only he can define it.

Now, two women may go to some place and some minister, so-called minister name may perform a ceremony and they may call it marriage, but it’s not. God said, it’s a man and a woman, ideally a lifetime commitment. You’ve gotta get through those hard seasons before the sweet seasons come, sometimes. Two men may come together, have some kind of ceremony with some kind of minister and call it marriage, but it’s not. God said, it’s one man and one woman.

Now, here’s what I would call positive convictions to have in your home so that your children may be more apt to reach God’s ideal. Alright? Number one under positive convictions would be modest dress. Modest dress, in the King James version of the Bible, the Bible talks a lot about the strange woman. She’s a woman that dresses like a harlot. She’s a woman that’s deceptive. The Bible says her way is the way of death. And we want our men not to be attracted to strange women. And we want our women, our girls, not to dress and conduct themselves so that they might draw or attract strange men, because in conducting yourself the wrong way and dressing the wrong way and admitting the wrong spirit as a girl, you start attracting one of two types of young men, the kind of man you need, and one, as a husband and the kind of man who’s only up to evil, only up to destruction, whose way is the way of death, the Bible says, so we wanna dress in the way that we attract neither the strange man nor the strange woman.

1 Timothy 2:9-10: “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly”. Then he goes on, talks about braided hair and pearls and costly jewels. He’s saying those things are not the important things. The important thing is to be godly in your character. Our girls can’t dress like the world dresses. I tried to tell my girls, and we, I did it all the time actually, as they would get dressed, they have a beautiful dress on or something. I say, you look so beautiful on the outside. Are you pretty also on the inside, your dress should be so that it draws attention to your face and your face should bear the countenance of Christ. You’ve heard it before many times, but it’s just the truth.

Long, long time ago, back in ancient days when I was single, I looked up in the congregation one Sunday morning when I was preaching, and there was a girl sitting back there who was absolutely beautiful. I already knew that. But that Sunday, her face was more radiant with the countenance of Christ. And so I thought, we need to go on a date. And she agreed. And she told me on that date that she had been through a series of brokenness and renewal and revival in her heart. Thus the image of Christ on her countenance. She was always sweet and kind and attractive and fun. But I had been praying a long time, God, I don’t want a good, good Christian girl as my wife. Good Christian girls are dime a dozen. I want a godly woman. I, and I think God basically said two things, all right, then I’ll make you one. But you understand, I need to make you a godly man too. And that’s been the woe me part of the whole story, the way God has to… I just read Spurgeon recently and he said, if God uses a man greatly in the ministry, you can be sure he’s taken him aside and flogged him good, to make him hungry for me, thirsty for me. You wanna attract someone who loves Christ, not the strange man, not the strange woman. You need to have modest dress, particularly as ladies for that.

Just as a side note, I saw one of these country music singers recently, and is it, has it not become cool to talk about God and Jesus everywhere? Now, I don’t have much confidence in the Jesus of country music. He doesn’t resemble the Jesus of scripture usually. So here, this woman is dressed like a harlot talking about Jesus. And what happens in your heart is I can see what you are and it drowns out everything you say.

Well, number two, a positive conviction to achieve the marriage principle, to have a blessed marriage, wholesome entertainment. That is that the pattern of our lives and in our homes for our children, we do not have the pattern and the purpose of being a part of entertainment that are designed to stir unrighteous desires. Matter of fact, the Bible says, do not defraud your brother. The idea of defrauding is to stir up a desire you cannot righteously satisfy. Young men should not be dealing with women with the kindness and sweetness and affections that stirs her heart with desires you cannot righteously satisfy. And young girls should not dress in a matter that would stir up desires in a young man that she cannot righteously satisfy.

And entertainment comes into that because entertainment is full of lewdness and it’s not always the fact of an immorality that some show, some novel, some magazine, article, letter, whatever it is, it’s not the fact of it. The Bible is full of facts about sexual, improprieties and immoralities, but it doesn’t glamorize them or condone them or show them in any way as good. It shows them as evil.

So this would include the movies we watch, the TV, things we watch, and for god’s sake, the internet. Do not let your children even on up into teenage years have access to internet and the computer. You’d be safer to put a rattlesnake in their bed at night, two clicks, and you’re right in the midst of hell. Don’t let the innocence of your children be robbed by that filth. Guard them from it wholesome entertainment because unwholesome entertainment puts them on a track of violating themselves with other young men and women and is gonna damage the potential for God’s ideal principle of marriage. One man and one woman in one lifetime.

Hebrews 5:14 says, we can have our senses trained to discern good and evil. It’s really hard to know in a fallen world, well just, where are the lines? Well, they might be somewhat different for different people, different brothers and sisters in Christ. One may have more liberty and it really not be a problem for him or her. Another one cannot do that. You have to discern what’s good and what’s evil in these areas.

For example, the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 9 told the Corinthian church members, I told you not to disassociate or to not associate rather with immoral men or immoral people. He said, but I didn’t mean the immoral of this world because if you remove association with all the immoralities of this world, even being around them and those type of people, you’d have to leave the world. But without question, there’s some places we should not go. There’s some things we should not watch or some things we should not turn on. Particularly as we’re guiding our fellows and girls, not just to keep a rule, but to attain the blessed place of God’s principle for marriage.

Number three, Roman numeral three. Every father should teach his children the principle or the authority in submission principle, I should say. Well, you can word it either way, that God has ordained authority in the earth for their protection and for their guidance. 1 Samuel 15:23, speaking of Saul, “For rebellion”, that’s rebellion against God ordained authority “is as the sin of divination or witchcraft”. Insubordination, ie. “is as iniquity and idolatry.” So God’s prophet lines up some very heinous, sinful things, iniquity, idolatry, witchcraft, and says, if you don’t honor God ordained authority, you’re right in line with those evils.

God has sometimes young people or or anyone will say, I just don’t know what God’s will is. And the next question would be, have you consulted scripture first? If that didn’t give you clear guidelines, have you consulted your God ordained authority, and said, what do you think is wisest and best here? And pray before you talk to them and say, whatever they guide me to do, God, I’m gonna do so you move in their hearts because you’ve ordained the authority structures over me to protect me and to guide me in life.

In 1 Corinthians 5:5, the young man in the church at Corinth was living in abject, scandalous immoralities. And, and Paul says something interesting, he said, “I’ve decided to remove such a one, and deliver him over to Satan for the destruction of his flesh” In other words, while he’s in good standing in the church, he’s under the protective authority of the church. But once the church removes him, not for his sin, but his refusal to repent of his sin and at least try to do better, then he’s taken out from under that protection. And Satan can have his way with him.

Young person, you must tremble and humble yourselves that this world is more than you can handle. And you need the protection and the guidance of the authority of your parents. And all God-ordained authority. Positive convictions that we have in our home because we want our children to reach this ideal principle of the protection in their life and the God guidance they need in their life. First of all, obedience to parents. Of course, respect for police. The Bible says our policemen are ministers of God. Uh, never. Well, sometimes police officers call themselves cops today. It’s not derogatory used to, it was just derogatory. But don’t use terms for policemen in your home that are derogatory, not honoring. They’re the ministers of God for good. Romans 13 says, thirdly, honor for pastors. I don’t care if your pastors are rascal, I don’t care if he’s got clear character issues or whatever it may be, but you don’t want your children to learn that it’s okay to dishonor the office of pastor.

One of the best things Satan can do is get your child by the time he turns 18, to sit in the pew and be skeptical of the man in the pulpit. Because God’s ordained, he needs the preaching of the word, first of all, for the salvation of his soul and for his ongoing service in life and for his ongoing blessing and prosperity in life.

Number four, no fellowship with rebels. Rebels love company. When you find that girl or that young guy and he wants to hang out with your son or daughter and they’re clearly as a pattern living in rebellion, then you just have to tell your sons and daughters, we can’t have you run with that person. You can’t go out to that activity with that person. No fellowship, with rebels.

Number four. Things every father should teach his children the principle of God’s dwelling place. Our body is the dwelling place of God. What a powerful truth. You know, just to, just to to, to try to comprehend that immediately turns my heart to grace because I don’t know about you, but I have to be a constant repenter, keep my heart, my mind, and my attitude in line and the fact that the holy God lives in me, but I can refrain from a purposeful pattern of involving my body in things that are contrary to and dishonoring of and grieving to the Holy Spirit of God who lives in my heart. So we want to teach our sons and daughters that important principle.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20: “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” You say to your sons and daughters sweetheart, look, it’s not first about the rule. You gotta have rules, especially when children are small, they don’t have to understand them. But as they get older, you want them to stand. It’s not about the rule, it’s about the high principles God has given us that are for our good and our blessing and for his glory. Your body is the dwelling place of God. His spirit comes to live in us at conversion.

So positive conviction on that would be no addictive or intoxicating substances. I’m not going to allow you to do things that put in your body the kind of poisons and intoxicants that are contrary to the goodness and holiness of God.

Ephesians 5:18 gives the, uh, parallel or the contrast here. “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit.” Now notice the, the contrary. You can have the spirit of alcohol influencing you or you can have the Holy Spirit influencing you, but they are in contradiction one to the other. So we are not gonna take the dwelling place of God and polluted with those kinds of things.

The second positive conviction that we might live out, the high principle of our body as the dwelling place of God is no premarital impurity. Yes, you can raise children, you are not involved in fornication. If there’s a failure, there needs to be quick repentance. And if poss and if necessary, a complete breakup of the relationship, God is forgiving. But that brings such a poison into the later marriage relationship. The whole idea of the cleanness and the sweetness and the beauty of sexuality gets marred by ugliness and vileness and selfishness.

1 Corinthians 6:15-20: “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute?” or anyone who’s not your spouse? “May it never be!” And and here’s the very real truth. When you have sexual intimacy with someone, you carry them with you all your life. Shall I take away the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot or a prostitute? May it never be or do you not know that the one who joins himself to the prostitute is one body with her where it says the two shall become one flesh. Sexual intimacy is a divine and holy gift of God. The Bible teaches us in the marital relationship is to be indulged in and enjoyed. There’s duties and there’s blessings in that. But outside of the marriage, it’s equally as damaging. No premarital impurity.

Roman numeral five, the fifth high principle we must instill as fathers into our children. The principle of the church. The principle of the church. It’s a place of belonging. It’s a place of blessing. It’s a place of duty. Make sure dads, you teach your children, church is not some place we attend, church is a place we belong. Did you get that? You could attend a church meeting, you can attend the worship service of a church, but that’s not what we’re talking about. We’re talking about belonging to the church.

As Acts 2:47 reminds us when these people were saved and they became a part of that local assembly there, on the day of Pentecost in Jerusalem, the Bible said “the Lord was adding to their number.” When you follow the teachings of scripture and the leadership of the Holy Spirit and request to be a part of a local church family and that church families, elders in the church, vet you if you will, and examine you and say, yes, we believe you’re God’s. We believe God’s change. You believe you’re a child of God, we will receive you. Then you belong to a family with wonderful blessings and important duties.

Teach that to your children, the unique precious specialness. This,.. we’re so outta whack in the evangelical, baptist communities today of, of, I want a church that’s like this and I want a church that, well, the children’s program is like this and I want a church that, well, the pastor’s funny and I just, whatever it may be, what a ludicrous thinking. It’s not your church. Church is not to be designed around you. And so often “great pastors” of today are the most creative touted guys who can make church mean more to more people. We must give you Christ and the Holy Spirit must make you long for him and his church because we’re his body in the earth. So very, very vital and very, very important.

Now, two words to you dads, but before I have two more words to dads. Number one, most of you doing a lot better job than you probably give yourself credit for. I don’t want you to take these notes and be some sort of structured robotic teacher at home, okay? But I would challenge all of us. And by the way, as a grandfather, I take this seriously. Just this past week I was with my granddaughter and we were going to goof off and um, we got to talking about her soul and the things of God. And uh, just biblical principles came out. I don’t get to just have fun with my children. Now, usually when they’re with me, they can eat foods they don’t,.. aren’t allowed to eat at home. I get in trouble sometimes. They told me the other day, several of ’em in the truck with me, I said, y’all wanna stop at McDonald’s? Well, we can’t eat at McDonald’s. My daughters will kill me. And I said, well, it’s probably okay. Just once in a while. And before I got once in a while outta my mouth, my grandson said, I want the nuggets. He was on it, son. He was just hoping and waiting for the opportunity. So there are some grandfather privileges there. But look, I take seriously that I am to cooperate in line with my son-in-laws, my daughter-in-laws to teach these things to my children’s children. So Granddaddies, you might say, I didn’t do a real good job, would be a real good granddaddy then. And it gives you a chance to be transparent, does it not? Granddaddy didn’t always do this, just like, right, but I’ve asked God to forgive me. And because I love you as my grand babies and great grand babies, sometimes I’m, I’m gonna do a better job as you’re growing up.

Isn’t God good? Every week you get to come in and repent and realign yourself to God’s ideal and do a little better than you did last week. And listen to me. Are you listening? And every time you repent and realign, God gives you a little more joy, a little more peace, a little more love for him, a little more treasuring of him by the way, which can never be taken away. But all this world can be taken away. Isn’t that good of God to help us and bless us all in one flowing sweep?

So dads, give yourself some credit because more than likely you’ve done a lot more good you need than you think you’ve done. And in the areas where you need to get do better, well just ask your wife. She’s got a list. You’ll tell you. No ladies, don’t do that!

Colossians 3:21 is a little addendum here, A couple of key thoughts as we close. “Fathers, do not exasperate your children” Exasperate means irritate not or don’t embitter them. Just some quick thoughts about exasperating your children. One way to be sure that you exasperate them. And the idea here is you’re gonna so crush their spirit. First chance they get, they’re getting out from under your authority. First chance they get, they’re getting away and they’re gonna rebel. So it’s not just about rule keeping guys, not just about being strict. There’s times to be strict. Certainly there’s out of balance people on each end of this spectrum. But don’t exasperate your children. Don’t knock the wind out of them and you will knock the wind out of them. First of all, if you don’t have a loving and humble spirit before God, they again said this earlier at the beginning, they need to see that humble spirit that you are sinner, you need correction, you need to repent. You ought to come home some days and say, man, when the pastor preached that today, I just had to repent. Dads, we need to do that some in front of our kids. It’s gonna help them to love you more and respect you more and understand that they have to receive your correction and your guidance.

’cause when, when Moses in Deuteronomy six told the people, I’m gonna give you God’s truth, now you go home and teach it to your children. That wasn’t the first part of the whole equation. That was second because the first part was in Deuteronomy 6:4-5. “Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” Pray. God help me as a dad to be the kind of man that is very imperfect, but they see in me this man loves God. Then you teach these things. If not, if you’re just about the rules and you’re just about your authority and you’re just about the parent, I’m not saying there’s never a time to say because I said so. Amen. There’s a time for that. But generally speaking, they need to know that God, I rather dad is a man who loves God.

Secondly, you’re gonna exasperate your children if you have a harsh fault finding pattern in your fathering. A harsh fault fighting pattern. Pam and I watched a documentary on the Earnhardt family. Have y’all seen that? Dale and Dale Jr. And I think Ralph was Dale, senior’s daddy. He was a huge race car guy. And then Dale Earnhardt, big race car guy, then Dale Jr. And Dale Jr. Was just a little boy and he idolized his daddy, Dale Earnhardt. Just idolized him. And for Christmas, Dale Jr. He might’ve been 10, 11, 12 years old, got this big, uh, model kit to put together a car engine. Of course it wasn’t real car engine, but it had all the parts on it. And because he wanted to be like his daddy, he wanted to impress his daddy. Dale Earnhardt Jr’s a little boy, put that whole thing together, painstakingly just put that whole engine together, could not wait for his dad to see it. And Dale Earnhardt Jr. said, my daddy walked in, looked at that motor I’d put together and just said, isn’t that part supposed to be on the other side? And turned around and walked out the room. And he says that this is his public testimony, how that crushed his spirit.

So number three, tying into this, not only they need to know that you love God and that you have to repent, that you need to savior, they’ve got to see that heart or you’re gonna exasperate them. They’ve got to see that you don’t just have a harsh fault finding pattern to your leadership in the home. And thirdly, you exasperate your children. You have, if you have sparse praise, I just like to say it this way, try to have 10 pats on the back, encouragement, affirmations for ever one pat on the behind. Can you say that in the pulpit? 10 to one. Don’t keep count. Just the principle. Look for the things you can commend.

Uh, we were doing something at the deer camp and I told my grandson to go get the, the lawnmower because the four wheeler wasn’t out there. And he went and got the lawnmower and he’s coming down through there and it was a very low wet area and I knew it was risky. And he buried that thing up to the axle in mud, just buried it. And we went to get it. I don’t know what he said, but I said, well, you’re doing what I told you to do. That’s good, that’s fine. So we just went and got the tractor and pulled the lawnmower out of the mud. One pat on the behind for 10 pats on the back.

Well, Elijah was the kind of prophet that changed men. Well, God changed them through his ministry. Men repented and came back to God. And the Bible says the one of the hallmark characteristics of a people, a culture, a church where the men turn back to God is the Fathers turn their hearts to the children and recommit themselves to the responsibilities in the home. John the Baptist is a type of Elijah. Same thing said about him. He was turning people back to God through his ministry. And a chief characteristic of fathers who are right with God is they turn their hearts back toward their children.

I like to say dads, that when you get up in the morning, you drive off into the workplace, your prayer should be, oh God, help me, bless me and use me because my priority for your glory is to provide for this wife and provide for these babies and protect this family. This isn’t about me going out here and getting a new bass boat. That may be fine, but that’s not what it’s primary. It’s about them first. And only a godly man can have his heart turned to that priority.

Now, forgive me that this has got lots and lots of sub-points. Maybe it should be five or seven different sermons. Who knows? But I’ll close with this. Fathers who’ve turned their hearts to their children are fathers who give them time. And as they give them time, they’re aware and intentional about how can I communicate the truth from God’s word. And God help me to be transparent that daddy’s a sinner too. I have to repent too. And I need a savior just like you do. Time, truth, and transparency.

Now, if you’re a male person, young, old, have children or don’t have children, I want you to stand with me as we close in prayer. Would you do that? I’ve known a lot of you a long time and I’ve thanked God for you hundreds of times, if not thousands of times. And I wanna reaffirm that as your pastor this morning because I haven’t obtained it yet and I’m on my second batch of grandkids now. But I am striving I can. That’s that’s true. I’m striving to be the grandfather God called me to be. And so I commend you for what you have been and what you are. And I commend you to keep on keeping on. If you’re yet to have children, thank God you’re getting this now, pin it down somewhere. Keep the principles and the truths. And for all of us starting with Jeff Noblit, let, let’s recommit our hearts to be the men of God who have turned their hearts back to the children for the glory of God.