Transcript

Take your Bibles and let’s go to Ephesians 5 and we’ll actually be looking at a number of verses and they’ll be on your screen, I think except many for one brief section, but this is a topic that we’re going to look at and obviously leave out a lot of stuff that we would like to look at but we can’t cover everything in one session. We’re talking about the family assignments, embracing and celebrating God’s design, God’s wisdom, in the way he’s put together family life.

Now, we’ve talked about the gender assignments, that was last week. If you have any doubt about what the word of God teaches about this whole gender issue, you ought to get a copy of that and listen to it. Now we come to what Paul both in his letter to the Ephesians and the Colossians list first and that is the wife’s assignment and that comes under submission to their husbands and being home-centered. Submission to husbands and being centered in the home.

Now look, if you will, at Ephesians 5 and look at verses 22 through 24 and then verse 33.

22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

Verse 33,

33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

Now, we talked about the fact that our God, our Creator God, has given us general assignments. He calls on all men to repent and believe; all should repent and believe and then be baptized; all should be faithful in a local New Testament church; all should live holy and separated lives from the world, and on and on we could go in the general assignments that God has given to every Christian. But then in various ways, and particularly for family life, he gives specific assignments to specific roles within the family and this is so that the family can function properly and sanely in a perverse and corrupt generation.

Now, several points to make here this morning and, again, ladies, there’s so much needs to be said and much will come out as we deal with the other assignments, particularly the husband’s assignment, Lord willing, next Sunday, but first of all this idea of submission to the husband primarily and also being centered in the home, I. is punishment and proof. It is punishment and proof.

First of all, the punishment aspect here, Genesis 3:16. After Adam and Eve had sinned in the garden of Eden, as a consequence or punishment, he says to the woman, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will bring forth children; Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.” So he gave Adam a consequence, we’ll look at that some next week; he gave Eve a consequence, a punishment, if you will, for their disobedience to God and he said, in a sense, “Adam, you are the federal head of all men who will ever live and you will pass on to your posterity the curse and the punishment consequences of your sin. Eve, you are the matriarchal head of the female race and you will pass on to your descendants, the ladies who will follow you, the curse and the punishment of this disobedience.” And to the lady Eve, he says among other things, “Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.” The scholars tell us it’s best to understand that this way: Eve, your desire is now going to be control your husband but yet you will still be required to submit to him.

Now, here’s the essence and don’t miss this, the essence of this punishment or curse on women, that is, the blessings and joy of submission has now been turned to drudgery and toil. There was a natural blessed joy in Eve having her place under Adam’s headship as God originally created them but because of sin, the natural joy and blessing is lost and now it is a drudgery and a toil yet God does not change the structure of marriage life. He maintains the husband as the head and the wife is to submit under that headship. So submission to a husband is no longer the natural joy God intended it to be. That’s the punishment element.

Now we go forward a little bit to the proof. What I mean by the proof is that God has ordained and he spelled it out so clearly in the New Testament, that a wife’s submission to her husband is a proof or a test of her obedience. A wife’s submission to her husband now proves or shows forth her heart condition. It shows she either remains in a rebel condition embracing worldly wisdom or that she has a new heart and she goes back to embracing God’s original wisdom of the wife being subject to her own husband. So this original concept of submission in the garden of Eden and now the trouble and the difficulty in it was a punishment God put on women for Eve’s rebellion but it also is a test or a proof are women obedient to God and showing forth they embrace God’s wisdom or have they rebelled and now have begun to embrace the world’s wisdom about the role of a woman in marriage and particularly, of course, her relationship to her husband concerning submission.

II. I call this liberation and responsibility. Liberation and responsibility. You could almost put liberation and balance but I went with the word “responsibility.” You know, Christianity is the world’s great liberator. It always has been. Take the subject in the evil of slavery. Some would say, “Well, it’s hypocritical because men who professed to be Christians developed the slave trade and had slaves themselves.” Yes, that’s true and that’s tragic and that was sin and that’s wrong but, however, if it were not for Bible believing Christians, we would never have had the abolition of slavery either.

William Wilberforce in Great Britain worked for 30+ years to see slavery abolished in Great Britain and when he first started he was all by himself. It was as if this is the way it is, it’s not going to change, this is the way our culture is today and so, William, get over it. But out of his deep commitment to Christ and the Scriptures, he said it’s wrong and he pressed forward until the day came when he finally convinced a majority of Parliament and slavery was abolished in Great Britain. The same way with our founding fathers. Hypocritical on that point as they may have been, they established a Republic where every man is equal before God so it was only a matter of time based on that Christian truth that slavery would be abolished. You can go all over the world and even secular anthropologists have to admit that cannibalism that used to be common among so many remote tribal peoples has now almost disappeared from the face of the earth because of Christian missionaries. And all over the world you can look at culture after culture, religion after religion where women and daughters were nothing more than pieces of property, if not slaves to the men in their lives, but when Christian missionaries came and preached the Gospel and that truth came, women have been radically liberated from oppression all over the world. Folks, they are not going to teach you that in the university classroom but that is a fact. Christianity is the great liberator and particularly so in the cases of women.

Now let’s go to the culture in the day that the Bible was being written when the Apostle Paul wrote these words to the church at Ephesus. In the Greek and Romans of this culture when a man was married, he most often or we could say it was very common, that he had a wife that he kept to have his children and raise the children and then concubines that he had for his own pleasure and women were not much more than a piece of property and they sure weren’t honored or respected. Unfortunately, the Jews, though they didn’t mingle with the Greeks and Romans, but the Jews, far too many of them had basically the same concept. The wife was in submission to the husband – now listen – but the Greek and Roman submission and the ancient Jewish submission was a submission based on the man’s inherent superiority, not a wise God’s order for function. Did you hear me? They would impose on the women, “We are just inherently better so you have to submit.” Radically unbiblical and wrong but that’s where these people were. A Jewish man of the day could divorce his wife for burning the bagels that morning and that’s tongue-in-cheek but it was about that simple. But a woman had no right like that. Deeply oppressed in these cultures.

Now, the Gospel came to the Greeks and Romans of this day and the Gospel came to the Jews of this day and these people, men and women alike, were receiving Christ as Lord and Savior and women were becoming radically liberated from the places of oppression that they were formerly in. For example, as Paul wrote to the church of Galatia, he said in Galatians 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” I don’t want to belabor this point but, my, have the liberals used this text. I have had feminists use this text to tell me there’s now no difference between male and female and I want to say, “Open your eyes.” That’s not what he’s saying. He’s saying in God’s placement of value on people, men are valuable and equally women are valuable in God’s eyes and Christ died for both.

Then in 1 Peter 3:7, “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker,” it means she’s composed of a different kind of fabric than you men are, “since she is a woman; and show her honor,” here it is, “as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” So look, you cannot fathom how radically new that was to the Greek, Roman and Jewish culture of the day. “You mean you’ve put women up here in God’s eyes with the rest of us men?” And the apostles say, “Yes, I am. That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

However, though, though the Gospel clarifies clearly that a woman has equal value to a man in God’s eyes, the Gospel did not change God’s original assignments for the wise functional carrying out of marriage and home life. That’s why the New Testament says this so specifically and so repeatedly. Just running through quickly: Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands.” Colossians 3:18, “Wives, be subject to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord.” Titus 2:5, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands.” 1 Peter 3:1, “Women, be like the holy women of old and be subject to your own husbands.” 1 Peter 3:5, “be like the holy women, being submissive to their own husbands.” So it’s as if the apostle says, “I’ve got to get these ladies in balance.” So it’s very likely when Paul was writing to the ladies of the Ephesian church, the Colossae churches, that the teaching on their liberation was an excitement for them and that he had to be thorough on the fact that your assignment to function in the home has not changed because in their excitement of their liberation, many of them were likely going too far and turning their liberation into an opportunity for the flesh, even for rebellion.

Now, if you study the New Testament epistles, a lot of what Paul does in the New Testament epistles is get people back in balance. For example, the Gospel came to the Greeks of Corinth, this is a sophisticated center of higher learning and cultural advancement, if you will, and the Gospel comes to these people and they start receiving Christ and being saved and they’re all out of balance on stuff. You’ll notice in like chapters 6 and 7 of 1 Corinthians, Paul has to tell them, “Stop divorcing your wives to serve Jesus.” They thought since our total devotion should be to Jesus, we can’t have any devotion to a husband or a wife. He said, “No, no, time out. You’re taking your liberation in Christ too far. You’re taking your devotion to Christ outside of God’s parameters and God’s assignments for you.” And on and on we could go. There were so many different things where they were doing this kind of thing. Marriage I mentioned. Spiritual gifts, they were excited about their spiritual gifts but they began to misuse them for their own blessing and pleasure instead of understanding their spiritual gifts were to be used to serve others. So I’m just making that point. I don’t want to belabor it that over and over again God takes the immature concepts of what Christian liberty might mean and he brings it back down to what it really means and that is you’re not to abandon God’s original wisdom, particularly in your roles in marriage and in home life. So liberation, yes, but still responsible to the assignments God gives us. We don’t get to throw those away.

III. The secret revealed. Now, ladies, this is the key, men, this is the key. If you miss this, you miss everything. You don’t miss most things, if you miss the secret, you miss everything. For example, just to review, just listen at this point in Ephesians 5, he says, “Wives, be subject to your husbands.” Again, Ephesians 5, “Wives, be subject to your husbands in everything.” Take that down, if you would, Tommy. There you go. Ephesians 5:33 again, “Wives, see to it that she respect her husband.” So now notice those statements. If the apostle had only written those things, “Wives, be subject. Wives, be subject to your husbands in everything. See to it that a wife respect her husband,” if he had only said that, the ladies of the church in Ephesus would have yawned and said, “Well, what’s new? We’ve had this beat into us since we were little girls. Our Greek and Roman culture taught that, the old Jewish culture taught that. We know husbands are more important than us, they’re more valuable and we’ve got to submit to them. What’s new about this?” Now, if that’s all Paul had said, that’s probably what they would have thought but that’s not all the apostle wrote. He wrote more. He included the secret. He included the secret that unlocks the door to the glory, the joy and the blessing of this submission. He unlocks the secret that’s only revealed by the Holy Spirit of God in women who are spiritually reborn.

So what else did the apostle write? Look at it in Ephesians 5. Let’s go back up to verse 18 because if you miss verse 18 and this truth in general I’m calling the secret, you miss it all. He says, “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit.” That’s the secret. A person has to have come to repentance toward God and faith in Jesus Christ whereby by the miraculous working of the divine Holy Spirit, their hearts have changed and only ladies who’ve had their heart changed by the Gospel through the power of the Spirit can rejoice and claim and walk in these truths Paul is giving. That’s the secret. That’s the secret. So these ladies in Ephesus heard more than just, “Be submissive. Be submissive. Be submissive.” Paul put something else in there.

Now look at the text, now you can throw in up there for me, Brother Tommy. In verse 22, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Now that’s different. Now the ladies in Ephesus are sitting up on their chairs and saying, “Wait a minute, as to the Lord? That’s very different than the submission we’re used to being taught in our old Greek and Roman culture. I’m to do this in honor of my Lord that I love with all my heart. I am to do this to please my Lord who gave his life for me. Now that’s different.” All of a sudden they were kind of slumped down and saying, “Oh yeah, the submission thing again.” Then he says, “Now you do it as to the Lord,” and they’re sitting up and saying, “Now wait a minute, that’s new.” And it was new. Then on we go in verses 23 and 24, “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.” They’re thinking, “Oh, we’re seeing it now. When we do this, we’re showing the world how the church should honor its head, Christ, as we wives honor our head, our human husbands.” So all of a sudden the pieces start coming together. These ladies loved Jesus and they were now beginning to see that Jesus, he was the center of their marriages. That was a new thing and, ladies, that must be where you are. This is for Christ. This is for his glory. This is to please him. This is an assignment from him. So they’re beginning to see something. They’re beginning to see that since they are reborn, born again by the Spirit of God, they’re beginning to have the curse of Genesis 3:16 reversed. Do you remember the curse of Genesis 3:16? “Your desire will be to rule over husband but you’ll be required to submit to him anyway.” That’s the curse. They realized, “We were cursed, we had lost the natural joy and blessing of submitting to our husbands but now that Christ has changed us and his Spirit is in us, we now have the capacity to begin to learn to rejoice in God’s original wisdom of submitting to our husbands.” But only the Spirit of God can enable that, ladies. You can’t do it yourself. So don’t take this truth out into the world and out into the neighborhood and out into the workplace and talk to the average Baptist churchgoing lady because she doesn’t have the Spirit of God and she’s not going to get it. Are you with me? So if you’re not reborn, that’s the secret, you can’t embrace it.

So now these ladies hearing this truth begin to stop focusing on the past. They begin to get over that old teaching that their husbands would insist and press on them that somehow they are inherently inferior by creation to their husbands. No, now they focus on the new wisdom being revealed now that they’re born again and the truth is coming to them that God has ordained a way for home life to be orderly and functional and reflect Christ to the world and they want to renew their devotion to that assignment for Christ’s sake and not the old way, out of a grudging, moaning, complaining submission to an arrogant husband. Those days are going away, new days have come and, folks, that is the secret.

Now, let me give you several conclusions for practical application when a women begins to embrace, grasp rather and embrace the secret, “Christ has changed me and out of love for him, I honor his assignment for my life.” 1. Let love drive your submission, love for God and love for your husband. Let love drive your submission. Titus 2:4, you’ll hear more about that in the ladies’ weekend. Titus 2:4 simply says among other things, love your husbands. Wives, love your husbands. Again, I think you don’t know how radical that was because the wives of this day had no basis to love their husbands, they were just under a woeful, oppressive duty. So when Titus says, “No, no, no, your submission is an assignment, that hadn’t changed, but now you have the capacity to submit to this man in genuine love for him.” That’s something, ladies, you have that the world’s women don’t have. That would be radical in the thinking of that day. Submission was always required but now I do so in love for my husband but not out of forced obligation.

There has been a lot of talk through the years about, “Well, a wife has to submit to her husband but, man, a man has the hardest job, he has to love his wife the way Christ loves the church.” I believe that’s totally false. If a wife is to love her husband, how is she to love her husband? By the example of Christ loving his church. The Bible says since Christ lay down his life for us, we, one another, should lay down our lives for the brethren, each other. How do we love each other? We lay down our lives the way Jesus loved us. So in all cases, we always love by the model and example of Jesus Christ, it’s just that the man has one assignment in the way he loves his wife and the wife has another assignment in the way she loves her husband. So here’s what you do, ladies, in devotion to Jesus Christ out of the love he’s put in your heart for him and for his truth, you begin to discipline yourselves to do what God says is loving toward your husband – now listen – and when you do that, emotions of love will follow the commitment of the will but the commitment to truth comes first, the emotional feeling always comes second.

This is so powerful. It so shows the power of God to the world. Listen to me, the liberal, the so-called progressive and the feminist does not know what to do with an intelligent, cheerful, confident, submissive wife. They’re just freaked out by you. They think you’ve got to be beat down, dying, and when they see a lady with a vibrant, sweet, joyous countenance, intellectual, but she’s chosen to honor her Lord, it blows their minds and it should cause them to think, “What does this lady have that I don’t have?” I’m going to say this again in a moment: take a long, hard look at the countenance of an old feminist. We could put that on a billboard and say, “This is what you don’t want to look like, ladies, as you grow old.” I’m telling you, you talk about…it’s scary. I’m telling you, I’ve seen some of the end products, ladies. Trust me, the world’s wisdom is not working. Thank you for your devotion to these truths. It’s such a joy as your pastor as I preach these things. I’m not preaching against you or to you, I’m here for you as we covenant together to show the world our God’s wisdom is superior.

Well, another conclusion for practical application if a lady embraces the secret that this is a new heart and this is for my Lord and it all flows out of that: she will see liberation as that which is from sin’s blindness and sin’s bondage. You see, the feminist and the worldly and the world’s wisdom says liberation means you get out from under God’s assignment. No, that’s radically upside down. Liberation means I’m liberated from my fleshly lusts and the world’s wisdom to go against God’s assignment and that’s sin anyway so I’m liberated from that sin of being bound to rebel and honor the world’s wisdom.

Galatians 5:13 tells us, “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Our liberation in Christ is not liberation for everyone to do what’s right in his own eyes. Our founding fathers, by the way, when they set up our Constitution and our national government, they understood that Christian liberty was the liberty this country was built on and Christian liberty requires certain commitments and responsibilities. You’re not free to do everything you want, you’re free in Christ to do what you ought.

A wife’s submission to a heavenly Christ will always be expressed through a visible and actual submission to an earthly husband. That’s why in Colossians 2:18 he says, “Be subject to your own husbands as is fitting in the Lord.” It’s fitting in the Lord. Is that in that verse? Wrong verse. The concept of “fitting” means it’s a part of your obvious and clear devotion to Jesus Christ. It’s according to his will and his wisdom for your life.

Conclusion for practical application, number 3: if a lady is embracing the secret that Christ has regenerated my heart and it’s for him that I’m doing this, she rejects a proud spirit in her submission. That is, this lady is one who is purposing to never make a show of her submission. You know, we’ve all known the ladies who were church ladies and they put on a real outward show of being submissive. Now, I don’t want to pick on any particular group but very often they dress a certain way and look a certain way because they’re making a show of how humble they are yet when they go home, they’re Jezebel on steroids. That’s not what we’re talking about. That’s trying to do it in the flesh and it doesn’t work that way.

Matthew 6:5, Jesus rebuked those religious hypocrites because they did what they did to be seen by men, Christ says. That’s not why we do it. Listen, ladies, we never glory in our submission, we glory in Christ. Did you get that? You don’t glory in, “Look how holy I am.” You glory in, “Look how wonderful my Savior is.” When they glory in submission and when they glory in keeping their households better than others, they usually don’t love God nor their husbands. There are ladies who are immaculate homemakers and, bless their hearts, they’re very very proud of it and, ladies, that’s just as wrong as the lady who sleeps in every morning and is slothful and her house is a mess all the time. We don’t need either one, by the way, but God forbid you dot every “i” and cross every “t” but your motive is not love for God and love for my husband. That’s the proper motive. Don’t make a show of your outward submission. Those ladies who spend their lives glorying in their submission will have a gloomy, downcast and joyless countenance which is both dishonoring to their husbands and dishonoring to Christ. Of course, the balance should be a woman who is diligent in their God-given assignments but does so with a heart motive for the good of her husband and the glory of God.

CPA 4: If a woman grasps the secret of the regenerate heart, “I’m doing this for Christ,” she understands a woman’s vast superiority to a man. A woman’s vast superiority to a man. Now, I’m making a point here so hear me out. First of all, let’s remind ourselves that submission does not equal inferiority. That’s a lie. Submission does not equal inferiority. Jesus in Luke 2:51 says, “He went down with them,” that’s his parents, “and came to Nazareth, and He,” Jesus, “continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart.” Jesus, the King of glory, the one who spoke everything into existence, came to earth and God the Father’s assignment was, “Be a boy to your parents,” and he submitted to them. He was submissive but he was not inferior. That was his God-ordained role or assignment.

Then again in John 6:38, Jesus says, “For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will,” I’m submitting to another, “but the will of Him who sent Me.” It’s as if Jesus would look at children when they won’t submit to their parents and men who won’t submit to their employers or church elders, and wives who would not submit to their husbands and he says to you, “I submitted to my Father when I was co-equal to him for your benefit and went to the cross, now model me to the world and take your assignment and live it out and show them my strength of submission.” I’m telling you, he was not at all inferior to his parents and he was not at all inferior to his Father. He was a co-equal of the Godhead yet he was submissive.

So let’s be reminded that submission does not equal inferiority. You see, men are, as I’ve said before, immeasurably superior to women at being men and women are immeasurably superior to men at being women. I like that. Consider the vast superiority God has bestowed on women in these vital areas, for example, the greatest miracle in physical creation is the capacity to conceive, carry and birth another human being. That shows what great unique superiority. No man can do that. Now, feminists won’t stop trying until they get a man to do it, but God gave that to womanhood. I mean, the very existence of humanity was given to women. That’s superior in that role and responsibility. The liberal, the progressive, the feminist who’s bound in sin and in sin’s lies, views this miracle of miracles as some sort of misfortunate curse of evolution and the unborn child is a burden that can be snuffed out and cast out of the way through abortion. What blasphemy, what dishonor to God, what rebellion. Ladies, do not let these liars convince you God’s gifts to you are somehow burdens. They’re glorious things our God has designed and we’ll combat these lies as long as we have breath.

But not only the great miracle to conceive, carry and birth another human being, how vastly superior God has made women to care for the newborn. This is a beautiful and wonderful thing. She births that little baby. Only she, she alone can breastfeed that baby. And then there’s that unique special bonding God’s ordained between the mother and the child, the nurturing, the compassion, the capacity God’s given ladies to multi-task. God help us if men had to birth, breastfeed and care for babies. Look, this is not a curse, this is a blessed gift of God. We joy in this and we rejoice in God’s goodness here.

Then God instructs women to be workers at home. The home is so essential. No man can make and keep a home like a woman. What a supremely important role this is. You see, men and children have a God-instilled need and a God-instilled desire for the comfort and security of a well kept home. Now, while all should help mom, they all should help mom, it’s mom who makes it happen. I’m telling you, if mom is not keeping the home, it’s not being kept as it ought to be kept. Every home needs a woman’s touch. I almost called a name or two but I’ve been in some of these older bachelor’s homes, they need a woman’s touch. They need a woman’s touch. Satan knows that the home falls apart, it’s not long until the culture around it falls apart. What a high and holy significance God has given to women and we should honor them and praise them out of due respect for the God who gave them this supreme role.

God made us vastly different, men and women, and women are immeasurably superior to men in these so many special and important ways. There is no argument from me that women cannot do tons of jobs men have traditionally done and do them better in the world, my question is, men can’t do what you’ve left at home undone. If you leave that undone, it’s not going to be done, not like it ought to be. A man with a dishonoring, rebellious and contentious wife who is not devoted to her home is a man who goes into the world with a broken heart and a wounded spirit which speaks, again, of her value and her specialness. God has given her the power by virtue of her assignment as wife and homemaker to make her husband or to break her husband. It’s in her hands. It’s given to her by her God, that’s why he gave Adam Eve to “complete” him. The godly woman sees her vast superiority to her husband in these many vital and essential ways and she lovingly and devotedly welcomes her assignment to submit to her husband and to keep her home, embracing and celebrating God’s wisdom for marriage and family life.

Number 5: A woman who gets the secret that this is about Christ and this is for him, knows that she holds a key to her husband’s spiritual development. That’s a powerful importance. God doesn’t reverse this thing. It’s only said to the woman concerning her role in her husband’s spiritual growth. 1 Peter 3:1-2, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” He says, “God has ordained something in a wife whereby if she honors the Lord for the Lord’s sake and for the Lord’s glory and the way she fulfills her God-given assignments,” now listen, “it causes God to put a pressure on her husband to bring him to humility and yieldedness to God.” That is a powerful tool God has given ladies but only if with the right spirit you’re carrying out your God-given assignment.

Number 6: If a woman grasps the secret that this is about gaining a new heart and doing this for Christ, she will understand that rebellion to her assignment will destroy her home and foster rebellion. It will destroy her home and foster rebellion. Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” How powerful this position is. The power to make the home what it ought to be is in her hands but the power to destroy the home is likewise in her hands.

When a woman as her modus operandi is always challenging her husband, always undermining and taking the lead, then she forces her children to side with one or the other instead of being under the two, and that is the sure formula to breed the seeds of rebellion in a child’s heart. Matthew 6:24 tells us, “No one can serve two masters,” and the kid is saying, “Who’s in charge?” But no one can serve two masters, “for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.” The principle is: if you force a person to choose, one’s going to be despised and the other is going to be loved and honored and I don’t know how in the world you can tell your children, submit to your parents, when they watch you wives never submit to your husbands. We’ll talk about it more next week but it’s very good, it doesn’t excuse a wife, she has her assignment, but it’s very good for the husband to make sure his wife knows, “I submit to the elders at the church. I submit to my employers. I work for them like working unto the Lord. And I want you to know I’m not inherently superior, I’m a man under authority also just as God has placed you under my authority.” But when a wife honors her husband, the children are more likely and more naturally to line up under both of them and honor them and honor the home with unity and with strength. Psalm 127:4 says, “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth.” What a picture that is. We’re almost done.

Number 7: If a woman grasps the secret this is about having a new heart through the Gospel and doing this for Christ’s sake, she begins to see the wisdom of being home- centered. Home-centered. I do not believe the Bible teaches a woman can’t have a job outside of her household but I’m convinced the Bible teaches whatever else you do, you must be home-centered. Home-centered. Proverbs 7:11 talks about a woman you don’t want to be like. Proverbs 7:11 says, “She is boisterous and rebellious, Her feet do not remain at home.” That doesn’t mean a woman is not supposed to leave the house in the Old Testament era, it means her heart and her enterprises are scattered all over and not centered in her home.

The command to be submissive and to be a worker at home – listen, ladies – is not a checklist so you can check those off and get to the other things that really you want to do with your life. Did you hear what I just said? It’s not a matter…there are ladies who have done a lot of things outside of the household but kept their hearts in their home and did a good job. Now, I’m not recommending that because, ladies, if you do what God says to do at home, you’ve got enough to do and I’m tired of seeing our Christian ladies with a very burdensome oppression on them because far too often husbands encourage them to take on things God didn’t want them to take on. You say, “Pastor, the husbands are next week.” Well, sometimes ladies are under too much stuff. It’s a dualism so make sure your heart’s in it, you’re not just checking, “Well, I did a couple of submissive things. Well, I did a couple of homework things.” We live in the age of hit a lick homemaking, “I hit a lick, went on to stuff I wanted to do.” That’s not what the Bible’s teaching here. It’s not about checking off, “Well, she does a little better on dusting than this lady.” Now, we can help each other on some of those things but all those things can be different but where’s your heart? Is it in your God whose wisdom said to be centered in your home? That’s the key.

And watch that dualism that I mentioned just a moment ago that, “I’m gonna do this and this and this, but also my heart’s in this, this and this.” Overwhelming so, the young ladies that I see and talk to are doing too much. Some of that stuff can go and it would be healthy for a lot of our ladies to sit down with maybe an older lady or, God forbid, even your husband and say, “What does the Scripture say is my job? and do you know what, I’m going to start saying no to half a dozen other things that are okay, they’re not evil, but they’re crowding out the main thing.”

Real quick story. Years ago, Bill G. told the story of a single mom who had this 24 year old sloth as a son. She was working two jobs. She was paying the insurance. She was paying the bills and he didn’t do anything but run around in his footy pajamas and probably had a blog spot to talk about how intelligent and wonderful he was. She went to the doctor, her health was failing and he said, “You can’t keep doing this. You’ve got a heart condition. You can’t work anymore. You’ve just got to stop.” She said, “I don’t know what to do.” And he said, “Well, this is not what you’re supposed to do.” So she goes to her pastor and says, “Pastor, this is what the doctor said and I’m working two jobs to pay our bills, take care of my son.” He said, “Your son is 24, isn’t he?” She said, “Well, yeah.” He said, “Well, that’s his job. The Bible says he should be supporting you so you do what you’re supposed to do and let him do what he’s supposed to do.” So she went home, now I’m condensing it a little bit, and she had quit her job and she didn’t set her clock the next morning, she slept in. Her sloth rolled out of his bed at about 10:30, saw that mom’s car was still there, ran up to her bedroom, “Mom, what’s wrong? What’s wrong? You’re not going to work today.” She said, “No. The doctor said I can’t work anymore. I’ve got a health condition and that’s not my job.” “Well, what are we gonna do? Who’s gonna pay the mortgage? Who’s gonna buy the groceries?” She said, “I don’t know. I guess we’ll be homeless and we’ll starve to death.” And she rolled over and went back to sleep. Guess what? The sloth got a job and began paying the bills and doing what he’s supposed to do.

Ladies, my point is: a lot of these things are going to be fine out there. You make sure your heart’s centered where God tells you to be centered. You can say no to some other things if you’ve got too much of a burden in your life because if you keep this dualism going and my heart’s here but my heart’s there, pretty soon your husband and your home is going to be your problem. That’s going to be your burden. Proverbs 31:27 says, “She looks well to the ways of her household.” Proverbs 31:11 says, “her husband trusts in her.”

Number 8, the last one: If a woman grasps the secret that this is about having a new heart and doing this for Christ, then she will end well. She will end well. Listen to what the prophet said here, Jeremiah 5:31, “The prophets prophesy falsely, And the priests rule on their own authority; And My people love it so! But what will you do at the end of it?” Husbands function the way they want to. They rule on their own authority. Wives function how they want to. They rule on their own authority. And my people love it so. Why, we just congratulate each other for bending the edges on God’s truth and doing our own thing. Then the prophet says, “Yes, but what will you do in the end? How is this going to end up?” Now, some of you are too young and too foolish to even know what I’m talking about but some of you are getting older and you understand what I’m talking about. You don’t end well if you violates God’s assignment. What they’ll find is that in the end there will be a removal of God’s blessing and an administration of God’s judgment upon them. Some of you in this room this day must turn around and begin to embrace God’s wisdom and God’s assignment for your life. Your rejection of God’s assignment may look like it’s working but, believe me, it’s not going to end well.

Real quick over to Proverbs 31. You know the Proverbs 31 woman and how she’s just unbelievable but the principles apply to any generation. I’ll just start in verse 27 of Proverbs 31. “She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.” Now here’s how she ends, “Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all. Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD,” that’s the same as respecting his assignment for my life, “But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.”

As I said earlier, have you looked into the countenance of some of the old hardened feminists of our generation? Warren Buffet, who’s not a good source of truth, by the way, but he did say something that I think is worth repeating. He said, “You know, when you get to my age,” he’s a billionaire, you know, he said, “all that really matters is being loved by those you want to be loved by.” Pretty good point.

A lady who gives herself in wanton disregard to God’s assignment is not going to hear this on her deathbed. She’s not going to hear a child lean over and say, “Mom, thank you for always keeping dad in his place. Thank you for letting dad know he was not the head of your marriage nor the head of our home. And, mom, I so admire your successful business career out in the business world. We loved all those nights and mornings when you were not there and we were alone. And, mom, when we grow up, we want to be just like you.” It’s not going to happen. It’s not going to happen.

I remember one of the first leading feminist newswomen, I can’t remember her name, and she contracted cancer and they were interviewing her during her treatment. She said, “Do you know what? If I had it to do over, I wouldn’t have done this. I wouldn’t have gone into this career because,” she said, “I found something now that I need my family, I need people around me but corporations don’t necessarily keep score but children do.” There’s nothing more beautiful, more wonderful or more powerful than a senior adult lady with a sweetness, a cheerfulness, and the blessings of God on her life.

Now, ladies, listen to me: I’m on your side. Some of you are caught in places I know you don’t want to be there yourselves and I empathize, I sympathize with you, but I would challenge you men, maybe, to begin praying about are we centered, are we fulfilling the assignments God has given us?

I didn’t really plan to share this and it’s not that big a deal but I am going to share it just to show you God’s faithfulness. When Pam and I were first married, I was on a part-time salary here, owed for a car, and Pam was Miss Universe in many ways, and she has a double major in math and music, very gifted, very intelligent, very talented, and she was offered the head of the music department at a college. I could have stayed here and she could have done that and do you know how much money that would have been? Benefits? And teachers, that was back when the benefits were good. They’re not as good anymore but that’s back when they were good. And we never thought, she never mentioned it again, we never thought twice about it. She basically said, “Jeff, God’s called me to be your wife and to keep this home and I just don’t think I can tie all that together.” Now, it might have been God’s will for some others. We’re not saying absolutely but for us, that’s where we were supposed to be and, believe me, making about $150 a week, that would have been a good thing to have had. Do you know what? I make a little more than $150 a week now and God has blessed us and taken care of us because you’ve been that kind of people to your pastor.

Here’s my point: don’t just immediately jump to something. Look to God’s word. And again, my pattern may not be for you, okay? It may be different for you but seek the Lord and make sure, ladies, that you’re fulfilling God’s assignment. It might mean you can work outside the home, it may not, but I believe it’s likely that many of you need to move back toward the home. I’d caution you, I’m not asking, don’t do anything rash, don’t do anything quickly and pray thought it with your husbands and see where God might lead you and we’re not going to judge each other on these things. We’re going to love and encourage and help each other as we all grow together in Christ Jesus.

Let’s stand together in prayer.