Transcript

Go to Titus chapter 2 with another installment addressed to our ladies. As the Apostle Paul has written this letter originally to his understudy Titus whom he has left on the island of Crete, a very godless environment, and Paul’s instruction to Titus is, “Titus, set things in order in these churches.” You could say set things straight in these churches. And Paul gives a lot of instructions on a lot of practical areas and when we get to chapter 2, he begins to talk about the men, the older men and the older ladies, and then the younger ladies and the younger men, and uh he he seems to give a lot more, well, he does give a lot more emphasis to younger ladies and their duties and responsibilities as compared to the younger men, and we notice there’s a different sphere that he talks about to the men and the younger men. It’s primarily their their role and their testimony in the world, and for the ladies, it’s their role, their duties, and their testimonies in the home. Uh he tells the older ladies to make sure you’re teaching the younger ladies and that’s something that I’m very encouraged about here as I see our older ladies. And by the way, older ladies, it’s um always true for older men, older ladies, older anyone in the kingdom of God that you start with your own repentance. When I’m teaching pastors, I I always tell them, I don’t want you to fail where I failed. I don’t want you to blunder where I blundered. I don’t want you to make the mistakes I made. I’ve had to repent and grow. That’s true of all of us. Can I get an amen there? That’s true of all of us. And so ladies, one of the first things you’ll have to do if you’re middle-aged or an older lady is say, look, to the younger girls, I want you to do better than I did. That kind of humble spirit is essential. We should always want the next generation to do better than we did. And so that’s the spirit I want us to have as we look at this and as he teaches these younger women uh through writing to Titus, Titus is going to teach, Titus is going to instruct probably all the church and then say to the older ladies, now you carry this on.

He talked about in verse 4 that the younger women were to love their husbands, love their children, and then verse 5 where we are today to be sensible, pure workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Now I want to pick up on the phrase kind, being subject to your own husbands because that fits in with all the duties we’ve been talking about as far as the ladies in their relationship to their husbands. Remember we talked about uh loving your husband’s, ladies, because you love his manliness. The masculinity that God has stamped into every cell of a man’s body is a gift of God, it’s a creation of God, and ladies should not resent that or undermine that or try to change that. They should love that. Ladies should love that men are manly and then love the husband. The husband is not just a word that designates the male member of the the partnership in marriage. The husband is a construct of God. He brings several things together to make one whole and the husband has the role of headship. And then we come to this phrase in verse 5, kind, being subject to their own husbands.

Now, I., as we unpack this, let’s notice the tone of submission. Well, it does have a title, by the way, “Submissive Wives and the Glory of God.” That’s our title, all right? Submissive Wives and the Glory of God, and as we were singing that last song, let me just say, twice in that last refrain, the songwriter wrote about a settled rest. Ladies, that’s what I want for you. I want you to have that divine, God-enabled wisdom and power to settle your rest on God’s truth and God’s wisdom. Just say, I don’t care what the world does, I’m settling right here. I’m going to rest right here. And by the way, I know they’re struggling with the sound system and it might have something to do with our sound system being 25 years old. If you’d give a million dollars, I think we’d get it fixed in six or eight months. All right?

I. The tone of submission. And that’s why I think Paul writes to Titus and uses that word in the middle of verse 5, kind. Kind, being subject to their own husbands. The word “kind” is the idea of good or pleasant or agreeable or even joyful. In other words, as a lady is submitting to the headship of her husband, her tone is very important. Her tone, the spirit that she submits in is very important. John Calvin writes in his commentary that it is impossible to be submissive and unkind at the same time. If you’re dotting every T and and crossing or or dotting every I and crossing every T and “obeying your husband,” but your tone is wrong, you’re not submissive. If your attitude about it is wrong, if you’re not glorying in God’s wisdom in ordaining these things, then your tone is bad. We have too many ladies in the church today that have become tone deaf. They don’t understand that attitude in spirit is essential.

Now, Sarah is the biblical model of what a Christian wife should be and the biblical model of the right tone and spirit in your submission. For example, in 1 Peter 3:4, in context of Sarah and the other godly women of of the past, uh Peter writes, “But let it be the hidden person of the heart,” the heart attitude, the tone, if you will, “with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” I believe it’s precious in the sight of God, immensely valuable to God because it shows that that lady is at rest in God’s wisdom. She’s not challenging God, she’s not pushing against, she’s not, “Yeah, but God…” It’s rest. The tone is essential.

Gentle here in 1 Peter 3:4 is a word that means mildness or meekness. She sees God’s will for her as good and she fully trusts God to defend her and protect her. So instead of being the opposite of gentle and quiet, that would be being boisterous and pushy, she doesn’t have to be like that, she, because she trusts God, can be gentle and quiet in that trust in her Lord. The word quiet here means properly keeping one’s seat, being peaceable, being still. I love seeing an older lady in the church who has quiet dignity and strength. She’s of a strength where she doesn’t have to be a loud mouth and you see godliness. But when she does speak, even the men want to hear because she’s earned that by that gentle, quiet dignity, godliness that she has.

Actually, the tone, I believe, of submission is far more important, as I said earlier, than the acts of submission. A woman can actually obey her husband, but do it with a harsh or cold spirit, a reluctant spirit, but that’s not submission. It’s not biblical submission. That might work in the workplace, but God wants the attitude of your heart to joy in his wisdom, not just go through the outward motions with a begrudging spirit. You know, you may honor your employer’s orders but do it with a cold or disrespectful spirit and usually the the employer will put up with that because maybe you do a good job and get the job done. But Christian marriage must far exceed that. It must exceed just a cold observance of duty. Since we are changed by the new birth, we can show a love and a respect in our marriage and in our marital duties. Husbands loving their wives like Christ loved the church, the core of that is loving her as your one and only. And I’ve told you, husbands, when you get up in the morning and you go into work, you’re not going into work for yourself, you’re going into work for that lady and for those babies. They’re your one and only. And you do that with a, not a begrudging spirit, but a heart heart that says, God gave me these and I’m going out to be the warrior that wins it this day for this family. The same way the wife submits to that husband, not out of cold observance, but with a tone that only the new birth and the Spirit’s indwelling power can give you so that you demonstrate to the ladies in this world that the gospel has changed me and I can do those things weak ladies cannot do.

There’s been a lot of talk of empowering women in recent years, but real empowerment is the woman who can honor Christ and honor her husband, starting with that tone of a kind and gentle or quiet spirit. The women of this world are so weak and the women of this world are so fearful, but you ladies must be the opposite and prove the word of God. The ladies of this word are afraid to be godly and be obedient. 1 Peter 3:6, again talking about Sarah as the role model for ladies, “Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without be frightened without being frightened by any fear.” That’s the problem, ladies are afraid they’re gonna miss something. The world, the flesh, the devil, “You’re gonna miss something! You’re gonna miss something if you do this!” It takes the power of the Holy Spirit to be a strong woman of God and trust God in these things.

So being kind of heart and kind of spirit is the essential beginning of true biblical submission. Well, number two, not only the tone of submission, how important that is, but number two, submission honors the wisdom of God. All of us are under authority. Here he says in this text to ladies, kind then being subject to their own husbands. The word “subject” there in the New American Standard means to line up under him; to arrange in an orderly manner. When you’re not under the headship of your husband, you’ve dishonored God’s order for things in the home. And by the way, I mean the dominoes start falling into chaos if the wife does not line up under the headship of her husband. We might just say say it’s an orderly manner or to put things in order is what this word subject means. Or maybe in a more crude cultural uh sense, it means to stay in your lane. Stay in your lane that God gave you. Let your husband stay in the lane that God…because God has a way of really disciplining men who don’t do it right. So ladies, you stay in your lane so some of that discipline didn’t fall on you, in a sense, free God up to get him on his knees if need be. You know you know what the feminists have done? The feminists and their foolishness have told women, “Go into the world of men and be a man and do the things that men do.” So the men said, “Okay, we’ll just sit back and put our feet up and be lazy and indifferent. Y’all gonna do it all.” So instead of having a better man, you make a worse man by not staying in your lane.

God’s order and arrangement of the marriage relationship is of wisdom, is of God’s divine wisdom. Some scholars even translate the word “be subject” here to “obey your husband.” God’s will centers in authority and submission structures. Did you hear me? God’s will centers in authority and submission structures. It’s all through the Bible because it’s ordained of God. It was put in place in the Garden of Eden when God was the head of all things and he said, “Adam, you’re the head of Eve, your wife, and Eve, you’re to be his helpmate.” Maybe not spelled out in those words, but that’s the principle that was taught there. And then after Adam and Eve, even even when they fell into sin, all of time is centered around structures of authority and submission. We’re to submit to governing authorities. We’re to submit to parents if we’re children. We’re to submit to pastors, the Bible says if we’re church members. We’re to submit to employers if we’re working for someone. We’re to work for our employers working unto the Lord. That’s submission. And he says, even those employers who don’t treat you right, you still honor them for God’s sake. And then wives, you be submissive to your husbands. And when the eternal state is established, when Christ returns and sin is removed, Jesus, the Bible says, will render up the kingdom to God the Father in a submissive posture. Though he’s co- equal to God the Father, he functions in submission to the ordained order of God. And then the Bible says the apostles will sit on the 12 thrones, judging. There’s a sense of authority and submission. But you know, the difference will be when we get there, the old sin nature will be gone and we will not resist authority or submission, we will glory in authority and in submission. Some of you wives are saying, “Boy, I need that glorified body right now. I need that right now.”

The New Testament teaches the submission of all things to Christ. Same word, Ephesians 1:22. It teaches the submission of Christ to God, 1 Corinthians 15:24. Same word. The submission of believers to God, James 4:7. The submission of believers to civil authorities, Romans 13. The submission of slaves to masters, or employees to employers, Titus 2:9. The submission of church members to their leaders, Hebrews 13:17. The submission of children to parents, Ephesians 6:1. And the submission of wives to husbands here in our text and in other texts like Ephesians 5. So a lot of wives, when you’re submissive to your husband, you’re honoring this for preordained, thoroughly established wisdom of God and that’s what’s wrong in our world today. We have no structures of authority in submission anymore. Every man does what’s right in his own eyes. Every man is his own authority these days. And now we’ve got these fools running around saying that there’s emotional truth. I mean, you can show them a wall and say, that wall’s black. It’s painted black, and they say, no, I feel like it’s green and that’s my emotional truth. It’s the most ridiculous, bizarre. Uh Jordan Peterson, the conservative psychologist is right, he said, “I feel like for 15 years I’ve been living in the delusional fantasies, or rather in the fantasies of a delusional 13-year-old girl.” And that’s what our world has become. We’re losing the structures of wisdom and order and submission that God’s ordained. Ladies, prove God’s will is true by the strength he’s given you to honor and not just honor it, not begrudgingly, but to joy in the God of wisdom who’s done these things for all of our goods.

Well, III., we’re doing good. I got 16 pages of notes, we need to do good. Submission is a key to a woman’s security. Submission is a key, probably should have used the the definitive article, the key to a woman’s security. I saw one of these little clips, you know, that’s on social media and it’s a conservative ministry, I think, that does this. And this wife is standing before her husband as he goes out to work and she puts her hand on his chest and she says, “You’re a warrior. You go out there and make it today great for your wife and your babies.” I’m telling you, ladies, when you show that kind of respect and honor to a husband, that man will die to keep you secure and protected. We’ll talk a lot about this in a moment, but the key need of the male person in the relationship is respect. He needs to know you respect and believe in him and he’ll die for you. But we’ll talk more about this in a moment, if you overrule him and dominate him, then he does not feel needed or useful and you lose the man that you really need and insecurity comes pouring into your life. But honorable, I should say honorable submissiveness in the right tone will powerfully stir that God-given desire in a man to provide and that equals a woman’s security.

Now the word here in our text, our A-word in our text is so important, he says, uh verse 5 again, to be kind, older ladies teaching the younger ladies to be kind, being subject to their own husbands. Your own, it’s the idea of private and separate. You don’t have any other man you’ve got to submit to on earth but that one man and that’s one of the challenges of wives working outside the home. Never taught you that it’s sin, not in and of itself. It probably is sin for some of you. But uh God didn’t ordain you to submit to two or three, four different men. He ordained you to submit to one man, to your own husband. It’s the idea here when you say, “My own husband, he’s my man. He belongs to me. I have obligation to no other on earth but him.” So I would challenge you young girls or younger girls, anyone who’s single today, sometimes someone’s single and they’re not so young and that’s fine too, but I would challenge any of you that are single, you do not just pick a husband based on romantic or emotional stirrings alone. Now I hope some of that’s there but you need to also be pragmatic, maybe even more so be pragmatic. Ask yourself, “Is this man unselfish? Does he have a work ethic? Will he provide for me and the babies?” You see, it’s the woman that gets pregnant. It’s the woman that has the nine months of gestation. It’s the woman that needs to nurse and nurture and care for that baby. So she needs a man she can depend on, not just that stirred her emotionally. Does he have a work ethic? Is he unselfish? Does he love Christ? Does he finish tasks?

And perhaps most important of of all, ladies, girls, watch him, how does he treat his mom? How does he treat his mom? Some of you moms, you make idols out of your sons, idols out of your daughters. As I’ve said before, sometimes parents buy their children everything and give them nothing. You need to teach sons, how shall I say it this morning? Uh Dad’s, boy disrespects his mom, next thing he needs to be expecting, dad’s going to fix that, “Son, I’ll tear your tail up. That better better not ever happen again. Then you go ask your mom to forgive you in humility.” How does a boy treat his mom? That’s the way he’s going to treat his wife. Now, in defense of some guys, they’ve been treated like their moms, like they’re a prima donna, king of the universe, center of everything, and so, moms, you set them up for heartache and trouble, disappointment and difficulty by not teaching them the right way.

Now, ladies, are you listening to your pastor? That’s a good example of how you don’t just follow your emotions, because you do love those precious children with all of your heart, but boys need some men around to smack them around from time to time. And we smack them here, we do. Ask the few that have been dismissed dismissed in recent years for not providing for their families. We loved them all we could and waited and were long suffering. We have men in this church that stand right up to you and say, “Son, you better get your act together if you’re gonna be a part of this church. You’re not gonna neglect your family and your children and be a member in good standing in this church.” Can I get an amen? I’m supposed to be preaching to ladies this morning.

But security, when she’s submissive to a good man, it brings security to her life and actually, we’ll amplify this in a moment, Sarah was submissive to a not good man and God brought security into her life because she honored the principle, not just looking at her husband’s performance. Ladies, if you just submit to us when we’re performing well, we’re all sunk. And men, if you just love your wives as you’re one and only when she’s doing well as a wife, then we’re all sunk. We do our duties unto God. Amen? All right.

God gave Eve to Adam partly because he was blessing Eve, not just blessing Adam. He was blessing Eve because Eve received the headship he designed her to need and to function through and under and by. This gave Eve security. Your husband is your leader, your provider, which builds security and stability. He must be responsible for the money for the clothes. He must be responsible for the utility bill. He must be responsible for the house payment. He must be responsible for the health insurance. He must be responsible for the dental insurance. He must be responsible for the eye insurance. He must be responsible for the disability insurance. He must be responsible for the retirement income. That’s security for the wife. She can have babies. She can nurture those babies because that man’s got me. He’s keeping us secure.

You say, “Well, Pastor, my wife just works and she provides some of those things.” She may. I’m not telling you that sin. Could be. I’m not telling you that it is, but I can tell you this, it’s not your responsibility, ladies. It’s your husband’s responsibility. Something happens to your job, ladies, and you don’t have insurance, it’s not your burden to go get it. It’s his burden to go find out how to get it covered. Quit taking the pressure off these men. They can handle it. Not only provider, he’s to be a protector. He’s to protect his home uh from home invaders. He’s to protect his wife and children from the manipulating uh instructions or philosophies of these teachers or influencers that are all over the place. And he will answer to God and alone for that provision and that protection of his wife and of the home. So ladies, he’s your own husband. He’s the one who’s to do this for you. He’s your own leader. He’s your own protector. He’s your own provider. He’s your own clothing provider. He’s your own utilities payment provider. He’s your own house payment provider. He’s your own health insurance provider. He’s your own dental insurance provider. He’s your own eye insurance provider. He’s your own disability insurance provider. He’s your own retirement income provider. It’s on him! If a worldly woman asks you one day, “What are you doing in these areas to take care of yourself?” You just say, “Oh, that’s on him. I don’t worry about that. God taught me not to worry about things that are not my responsibility. That’s on him.” Pastor, you’re supposed to be preaching to the ladies. I am. I’m trying to get them to see that submitting to a good man is their security.

If a husband comes to me today, maybe a few months from now and says, “Pastor, I work hard, but it just doesn’t seem to be enough. My wife helps by working, but she’s come to me and with the right spirit and the right tone said she’s gonna submit to me in all things like the Bible teaches. She’s committed to be a loving and devoted wife. She’s committed to be a homemaker and she’s committing to rise up early and stay up late to do these things in an excellent way and in six months she’s leaving her job and she’s no longer working outside the home. Pastor, what should I do?” Two things, praise God for a wife with that attitude. Number two, find a second job. Do what it takes to say, we’re going to make this work.

I debated whether to even say this, but Pam and I, when we were first married, she got a call from a state representative and that state representative said, “Pam, I I want you to take the job at this university. You’ll be head of the department.” And the money and the benefits was really good. And Pam, God as my witness, I don’t think we had a 10 second conversation. It’s just we got babies. I just don’t think that’s wisest and best, at least not now. And trust me, you’re good to your staff and you take good care of your pastors and staff, but it hadn’t always been this good. We could have really used that money. And by now, it would have totaled millions of dollars in a fantastic retirement. But you know what? We just showed that’s not the best for us. And it was tight a lot of times. But today here I am, wonderfully blessed by a church that loves us and takes great care of us. Here’s my point to you. You don’t know what God might do. You don’t know what God might do and I’m here as an advocate for the ladies because I’ve said, I’m gonna say it again, too many of you ladies have too much on you. And there’s some of you ladies, now, this this this can’t happen overnight. There’ll be a period of prayer and seeking the Lord. Your pastor’s not telling you absolutely which way it’s going to go, but you seek the Lord and you’re going to get to the place where you’re going to say, “I’m gonna rest in my biblical responsibilities and all that other stuff is on him.” No more courtship, getting married, running out into the world’s philosophy, and then 20 years later saying we should have looked at the Bible and prayed about this. That’s what we want the younger couples to do. Amen. Just get that back in order better.

Now there are good and godly ladies who have gainful employment outside the home and they’re not in sin. I understand that because we’ll talk about this maybe next week, you can stay home all day and not be a good wife or homemaker. And there are some super women out here. I know you. I don’t know how you’ve done what you’ve done. You shouldn’t have had to done it all, but I don’t know how you did it. You look like you did a great job. And can I just give you a side note here ladies? Since the Bible is so clear about your primary role as a Christian woman in the world, loving your husbands, loving your children, keeping her home, submitting to your own husband, make sure your social media has a lot more about that area of your domain than your work area outside the home. Make sure your social media says more about your domestic life because God says a lot more about it than your workaday world life.

And I thought about this a lot through the days and we got to be very balanced and careful here because I’ve been sick a couple of times and I’ve been in the hospital a couple of times and man, we need ladies to be in those jobs. I’ve told you before, I I’m not real big on male nurses. I just thank God for you guys. I’m not saying it’s wrong, fellas. Don’t misunderstand me, but women are better at it. They care more. They’re sweeter. They’re kinder. They just feel deeper. When I’m really sick like that, I want a woman to come in and treat me like mama used to treat me. Amen? So I don’t know where we would be if we lose these nurturing ladies in some of these fields. I get the balance ladies, but we’re a little bit out of balance on the other side.

Number four, not only those first three truths, but number four, this is where we’ll spend most of our time and my time is gone. What shall I do? Submission fixes your husband. But let’s remind ourselves here that God’s word teaches the wife’s submission because God’s creation established it. You see, brothers and sisters, you can’t unweave what God’s woven together. You can’t deprogram every cell of your DNA, of your body rather, that’s stamped with the DNA of male or female and then with wife or husband. You can’t unscramble that. God’s word commands these roles and duties because God’s creation established it. God’s trying to say, “If you’ll work with My setup, it’ll work best for you.” The special, unique woman’s role is taught in God’s word because it was wrought in God’s creation. 1 Corinthians 11:3 reminds us, “But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man and the man is the head of the woman and God is the head of Christ.” God’s ordained these things.

The new birth indwelling Holy Spirit and the Holy Scriptures enables a woman to stand against the lies of this age and bring honor and glory to God, and here’s one of the most prominent lies of this present age is that a wife can fix her husband. That’s one of the most prominent lies, well, not just to the modern age, of the ancient age, that a wife can fix her husband. If I might just say so, ladies, with all due respect, who told you you were that important that you can fix the husband? No more foolish notion has ever ventured across the hearts and minds of women than that. When a woman starts out to fix her husband, she dominates her husband because she sees it’s her job to fix him, to correct him, but she forgets God did not make her a fix-him wife. God made her a love-him wife. God didn’t make her a fix-him husband. God made him a love and respect-him husband.

Scripture gives us powerful examples with two key ladies, I stretch to call one of them lady, who are the pinnacle example of wrong and the pinnacle example of right, and that’s Jezebel and Sarah. Now, ladies, every one of you has some Jezebel in there because we’re all fallen and like her backbone, like a wet noodle husband, King Ahab, all men have some Ahab in them but we can stay on top of it. We can repent of it and stay on top of it, not let it be the dominant spirit of our lives. Jezebel dominated and controlled Ahab, her husband. She was a fix-him wife, “I’ll get him fixed.” Matter of fact, she’d gone into that second level of rebellion, “Well, I can’t fix him. I’ll just have to take charge and do it all myself.” Sarah is the example of honor-him and love-him kind of wife. But before we start with these two women, let’s set forth that dominant principle I mentioned earlier, and that is respect. That’s the one thing God has woven into the DNA of a man. He must have respect and more than anything else, ladies, he wants respect from his wife, and then secondly would be his children. And by the way, the children will respect him, ladies, if you respect him.

When a godly woman submits to her husband, she respects him as her head and her leader, but when she dominates him and controls him, she demeans him and disrespects him as her head and her leader. Respect is a man’s greatest need where security is a woman’s greatest need. Jezebel is the pinnacle example of disrespect and Sarah is the pinnacle example of respect. A good woman can take a good man who’s at the end of his rope and make him feel like a champion just by respecting him, “Baby, you’re my guy. You can do it and I’m with you all the way.” Ladies, do you have any idea how powerful you are when you line up with God’s purposes? Men are designed by God, for headship and leadership. Respect for the husband makes him feel needed. You see, men just can’t exist. They must feel useful. Primarily they want to feel useful to the wife and children. And when he leads and makes decisions and you jump on it and dominate and correct him, what you’re saying is, “You’re not useful. I don’t respect you.” So when your husband does something that’s not quite the way it ought to be done, maybe not quite the way you think it ought to be done, be careful and don’t show disrespect in a correction. You’re driving a spike into the very heart of his purpose for being with that disrespect. By criticizing, rejecting his efforts to be a leader, to be a head, and he might be rough around the edges. He may not have grown up in church. You may know the Bible a lot better, but you diminish his manhood. You emasculate him when you dominate and correct, when he’s told he’s inadequate, told the way you did this is unacceptable, because ladies, a may a day may come when you need a man but you just robbed yourself of having one. God’s given you a powerful influence in fixing your husband, making him the man he ought to be.

Well, let’s talk about Jezebel, the disrespectful wife. Jezebel, 1 Kings 21:4, I had to spin through this, okay? So just get the point of the story, don’t get all the breakdown of all the uh tiny aspects here. Jezebel, Ahab, King Ahab, he’s sullen and he’s vexed, 1 Kings 21:4. He wanted Naboth, the Jezreelite, to give him his vineyard. Naboth said, “No, that’s handed down from my fathers. I can’t let you, King, have that vineyard.” 1 Kings 21:5 through 7, Jezebel finds out about it and says Jezebel, Jezebel says to Ahab, “Why is your spirit so sullen? You’re not even eating.” So here’s whiny, pouty, baby King Ahab, “Because I spoke to Naboth the Jezebelite and said to him, give me your vineyard for money or else. If it pleases you, I’ll give you a vineyard in its place. But he said, I will not give you my vineyard.” So here’s whiny, baby Mickey Mouse Ahab. Jezebel says, verse 7, “Do you now reign over Israel?” Oh, it reeks with dishonor, reeks with disrespect. “Aren’t you the King of Israel, big bad boy, King Ahab?” You’re not like that, ladies, are you? Don’t be a Jezebel. “Arise, eat bread, and let your heart be joyful. I’ll give you the vineyard of Naboth the Jezereelite. I’ll take control here, King. I’ll get it done.” In this four things, and I’m not necessarily saying these four orders, but these four spirits come out. First of all, her contempt for her husband. She doesn’t respect him. She disdains him. She dishonors him. There’s contempt all over. Secondly, her criticism. “Now, are you the one that reigns over Israel and you can’t get this fixed?” Just a rash of a critical spirit toward this husband. Now he’s not much, I can tell you that, but God judges him of course, but he really judges Jezebel for these very things. Second, thirdly, her correction of him. Again, I I I’m gonna I’m correcting you, Ahab, and I’m correcting the situation.” And of course, that naturally leads to the fourth one, control. She’s a controller, jumps in, takes charge, gets the control. The Jezebel spirit is a woman who dominates and controls her husband and there’s no more wicked spirit spoken of in the Bible than the Jezebel spirit because if Satan can disrupt the home, dismantle God’s structure for the home, he can take everything else.

So she corrects it and she takes control. 1 Kings 21:8 through 10, she writes these letters, in Ahab, her husband, the king’s name, has them sealed with the king’s seal and she’s gonna have a mockery of a trial, have Naboth who owned the vineyard that King Ahab wanted, have him brought in on this uh kangaroo court, have two scoundrels of men give false testimony that Naboth blasphemed God and she has Naboth stoned to death. Contempt for a husband, criticism, correction, and took control. “I’ll give you the vineyard,” she says down in 1 Kings 21-7. “I’ll get it done.” She was the poison adder on the throne beside her weak husband. 1 Kings 21:25 says, “Surely there was no one like Ahab who sold himself to do evil in the sight of the Lord because Jezebel his wife incited him.” Ladies, you’re responsible for the way you push your husband into things. You’re powerful.

Now Jezebel was the height of wifely wickedness but we need to be reminded that good women who love God can easily fall into some of these same spirits, like Eve in the garden, just quickly. Satan comes up to Eve, says, “Eve, I’ve got a tree of the knowledge of good and evil. You need to eat of that tree.” Eve had contempt for Adam because she did not say to Satan, “If this, if this is important, Satan, I need to go get my husband. He’s my protection.” She didn’t do that. That was contempt for her husband. Secondly, she used criticism. In effect she’s saying, “Adam should have known about this tree. Adam should have guided me about this tree because what Satan says, this tree can do special, wonderful things for us. We can have the knowledge of good and evil and be like God if we eat of this tree.” So that was a a contempt and a criticism and a correction of her husband not emphatically written out in the text, but certainly implied in the text. And then Eve took control, “I’ll just go ahead and do what Satan’s saying. I’m not going to consult with my head. I’m not going to consult with my protector. I’m going to go ahead and eat of it.” Same principle, same stuff. So where Eve sowed a seed of disrespect for her husband, Jezebel is the full hideous harvest of disrespect for the husband.

Quickly ladies, three outcomes of having a Jezebel correcting, criticizing, controlling, contemptible spirit. Three outcomes. Number one, if you have this spirit toward your husband, it corrupts your children. It corrupts. By your example, you’re corrupting your children. There’s nothing more damaging to a child’s well-being than to corrupt their trust in God-ordained authority. I’ve seen the homes where the daddy would give an instruction and the kids would look at mom to see if they’re supposed to obey it. Never should happen. Never should happen. And then that teaches the child, “I can weigh all of God’s authority in my life, police authority, church authority, whatever it is, and I can kind of make up my mind as I go along, because that’s how mom did it.” A child’s sin nature longs to reject God’s ordained parental authority, and when a mom dishonors her husband, it fuels the child’s rebellion and it will work for the ruin of their lives. It corrupts her children. This is why Proverbs 14:1 says what it says, “But the wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with their own hands.” Tears it down by by putting her own hands on it and doing it her way.

Secondly, she corrupts her children, she also confounds her husband. He’s confounded because he does not know what to do. Every time he moves or makes a decision, she comes in, takes control, corrects him, demeans him. And as I’ve heard explained recently, you know, when men have a disagreement about rights or authority, if need to, men can come to blows. Not recommending that, but there may be a time for that. But you can’t come to blows with a woman. I mean, your your hands are tied if you’re married to a crazy woman. You you just have to suck it up. And what happens? The guy goes silent. He retreats more. He’s less of a leader. You know what that leads to? His wife’s less secure. She’s less content. She’s less restful. She has less peace. And if you don’t get it corrected, she’ll go into her latter years a troubled, anxiety-ridden, frustrated soul.

It corrupts the children, it confounds the husband, thirdly, it condemns contends against her own peace. I got ahead of myself because that’s the point I was just making. I thought about Martha. You remember Martha and Mary? Jesus shows up at Martha and Mary’s house and Mary’s busy worshiping Jesus at his feet and Martha comes into the room, sweat beads are on her head, a spray of uh flour is on her cheek and she’s about had it with with Mary. “I’m in here getting the meal ready. Jesus has come and here you are, Mary. You can’t do nothing but weep in glory and worship Jesus.” What was Jesus’ reply? “Well, Martha, now you need to get, you need, you know, Mary, you need to get up and go help Martha.” No, no, no. “Martha, Martha.” Two Martha’s. “Martha, Martha, you’re concerned about so many things.” And I would charge you ladies, get back to the few essential biblical things and do those well and quit letting your heart and mind be concerned about so many things. And ladies, as your pastor, it does us no good if you know every book, every chapter, every verse and know our theology very well and you’re esteemed as a godly teacher of God’s word in the church, but you go home and dishonor your husband. You’re not spiritual and you’re not a help.

When a wife is dominating and controlling and not submissive, she breeds that insecurity and that’s why 1 Peter talks about she she needs to honor her husband the way Sarah Sarah honored Abraham and not be frightened by any fear. That fear that if she honors her husband, it’s going to diminish her, it’s going to deny her of something. That fear that if if she obeys God in this, God won’t take care of her. It’s not going to work out good for her. That’s a lack of faith. And thus she strips from her soul the blessing of rest in headship that God designed her to have and there’s a deep, irreplaceable security God had for her in headship and she’s cast it away.

One other quick thing is, ladies, please don’t correct your husband in public. Please don’t correct your husband in public. That’s something Jezebel always did, I’m sure. Learn how to bring to your husband a private and respectful appeal as your head. And husbands, learn to listen to your wives. She’s not just somebody else. Care about the way she feels and what she has to say. When a wife corrects her husband in public, especially if she does it so in a demeaning or controlling tone, the only people this impresses is other women with the Jezebel spirit. Godly ladies who wish witness such a thing are grieved and embarrassed by it. How would you appeal to your boss at work? Why shouldn’t your husband at least have that same respect? I know how it is. Christian wives sit in the office break room, the faculty lounge, the the school lounge, maybe the coffee shop, and some woman speaks up, “I tell you what, I’m not submitting to any husband. He can fix his own meals. I’m not serving any man.” Then break time is over and they go out and submit to some man for eight or 10 hours that day at work. That’s insane. That is insane. What fools! What fools would deny God’s word and yet submit to men God doesn’t even require them to submit to. As if that’s gonna get you ahead.

And brothers and sisters, the reports are coming in, the surveys are coming in, the polling is coming in, these women who are violating God’s word and living for the world and living for careers and not being centered in their homes, they’re not happy. They’re not blessed. They’re not flourishing. Now, the reason why you have a lady in that setting, you we’ve all seen it. “I’m not submitting to him! I’ll tell you what, I won’t do that.” You know why they’re doing that? They’re saying these things because they need affirmation and validity for their rebellion. They want somebody else to join in and say, “Boy, you’re right.” You know why? Because God’s put his law in their hearts and God’s given them a conscience. They know they’re wrong. and they need somebody to soothe that conscience and give them some validity. God’s put it in their DNA to need headship and honor headship. Uh one fool wrote recently, uh one of these liberal ladies wrote that uh the maternal instinct has been is something that has been pressed on women as an oppression by men. No, it’s been pressed on women by the God who created women.

So here this woman is shouting out she’s not going to submit and do all these things because she feels guilty though she would never admit it publicly, and now to offset the guilt she needs two things a pseudo-intellectual argument to justify herself and other women to join in to validate herself to appease this guilt. That’s what’s going on ladies. And when you as a Christian lady sit in that environment and you don’t join in, they hate you for it. Oh, they hate you for it. Like the Bible says, you’re putting burning coals of conviction upon their head and that’s when after the meeting’s over, they will start their vindictive, slanderous, character assassination efforts to bring you down and destroy you. You see, ladies usually don’t fight this way, but will they fight this way. So they’ll try to assassinate your character because you did not go along with their premise of exalting the Jezebel spirit.

Jezebel will not tolerate any challenge to her dominion. The Jezebel spirit is a “I’ll fix him” spirit, not “I’ll honor and love him” spirit. And fixing him never works, ladies. You may fix the thing that’s being discussed at the time, but when you join in with a disrespectful controlling spirit, though you may have fixed that thing, you neither fixed him and certainly you didn’t fix your marriage. You just drove a deeper divide between you. That’s why Revelation 2:20 and 21 refers to a controlling, domineering, wicked woman in the church there. Revelation 2:20 and 21, ” But I have this against you, that you tolerate the woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, and she teaches and leads My bond-servants astray so that they commit acts of immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols. I gave her time to repent, and she does not want to repent of her immorality.” So he said, “You got a woman in your church that has a Jezebel spirit,” and God said, “I’ve got this against you, you tolerate that woman.” How strong God is on this. That spirit is not to be tolerated in the church. It shows you how deeply and clearly it’s not of God.

Well, what happened to Jezebel? 1 Kings 21:23, “Of Jezebel also has the LORD spoken, saying, ‘The dogs will eat Jezebel in the district of Jezreel.'” That’s what happens to this kind of woman. 2 Kings 9:33-37. “He said, ‘Throw her down.'” That’s Jezebel. “So they threw her down, and some of her blood was sprinkled on the wall and on the horses, and he trampled her under foot. When he came in, he ate and drank; and he said, ‘See now to this cursed woman and bury her, for she is a king’s daughter.’ They went to bury her, but they found nothing more of her than the skull and the feet and the palms of her hands. Therefore they returned and told him. And he said, ‘This is the word of the LORD, which He spoke by His servant Elijah the Tishbite, saying, “In the property of Jezreel the dogs shall eat the flesh of Jezebel; and the corpse of Jezebel will be as dung on the face of the field in the property of Jezreel, so they cannot say, ‘This is Jezebel.'”‘” God said, “I’m gonna make a statement about a woman like that. I’m gonna make a statement.” I’m almost done.

Now the other pinnacle example in the Scripture, the good one, Sarah. I’ve already preached this to Pam and she said, “Do Sarah last. Give us some hope at the end.” And I’m not exaggerating, she’s been on me to preach this particular message. “Jeff, we need this. I need this. We need this.” I wasn’t gonna do it. I I don’t know why maybe. I don’t know, I’m not gonna do it but she’s she’s made me do it. Not in a Jezebel way. Not at all. But quite the opposite and and I’m learning and growing and we all are and that’s just the truth. Y’all like that, didn’t you? I didn’t mean that funny at all.

Abraham’s weakness and sin in Genesis 21 and 2. Here’s Abraham. He’s journeying from uh Ur of the Chaldees. God’s called him to another land. He says, this beautiful, beautiful wife, Sarah. And in effect, he says, “Now Sarah, when this the king of this land comes, they’re going to tell him how beautiful you are, and they’re gonna want you as one of his wives, and they’re gonna kill me. So you just tell them you’re my sister.” There’s some truth to that. They were brother and sister by two different moms. So kind of a twist on that. So that that’s Abraham’s weakness and sin. And then we see God’s protection of Sarah also in Genesis 20:3 and 4 and verse 7, “But God came to Abimelech,” that’s the king that took her because he thought she was just Abraham’s sister, “came to Abimelech in a in a dream of the night, and said to him, ‘Behold, you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is married.’ Now Abimelech had not come near her; and he said, ‘Lord, will You slay a nation, even though blameless?'” He said, “I didn’t know she was another man’s wife. Abraham told me that she was his sister.” Genesis 20, verse 7, “Now therefore, restore the man’s wife, for he is a prophet, and you will surely pay for it and you will live. But if you do not restore her, know that you shall surely die.” God took care of Sarah because she was a woman who honored even a sinful, unfaithful man. You don’t honor your man because of his performance. You honor your man because of his position. That’s being a Sarah.

And this is powerful. When when Abimelech learned what was going on, Abimelech took Sarah back and here’s what happened. Genesis 20:14 through 16. “Abimelech then took sheep and oxen and male and female servants, and gave them to Abraham, and restored his wife Sarah to him.” Verse 15, “Abimelech said, ‘Behold, my land is before you; settle wherever you please.'” I’m giving you all of this stuff and I’ll give you whatever land you want. Verse 16, “To Sarah he said, ‘Behold, I have given your brother a thousand pieces of silver; behold,” now notice this, this “is your vindication before all who are with you, and before all men you are cleared.'” Ladies, if you’ll honor God, God will move heaven and earth to vindicate you and bless you. Do you believe God? Do you believe God? “Sarah, this is your vindication and all will know what a great and good and godly woman you are.” Ladies, isn’t that the way you want to end down here? Be a Sarah? Genesis 21:1 and 2, doesn’t end it with just Abimelech doing all these wonderful blessings for Abraham and for Sarah and vindicating Sarah’s reputation as an honorable and good woman. Genesis 21:1 and 2, “Then the LORD took note of Sarah as He had said, and the LORD did for Sarah as He had promised. So Sarah conceived and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the appointed time of which God had spoken to him.”

So now let’s outline Sarah. Instead of that contempt and and criticism and uh correction and control that we saw in Jezebel, here’s Sarah. Number one, she honored she honored her husband, Abraham, where Jezebel dishonored her husband. Genesis 18:12, and it’s repeated in 1 Peter 3:6, we see Sarah calling Abraham her lord. Her lord. What’s the point there? She respected his headship. She didn’t know how it was gonna work out because you remember what I told you, ladies? You can’t figure this out. You faith it out. You can’t figure it out how it’s gonna work. You faith it out. 1 Peter 3:6 in the New Testament as a model for Christian ladies of all ages, “just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord,” she honored him and you become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. Secondly, she was quiet, not critical. She was quiet. Jezebel, loud and critical. Sarah, let my husband speak, make these decisions. Number three, she was submissive to her husband, where Jezebel was a corrector of her husband. Number four, she hoped in God, where Jezebel took control and hoped in herself. “I know what to do here.”

In the context of Sarah and other women of former ages that today’s Christian women should look at as as an example. 1 Peter 3,:5 says, “For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.” Their adornment was their character of submissiveness to their husbands. Hoping in God, Sarah honored and respected her husband. She did not cancel out submission when he was weak and sinful. One of the very important principles in submission is you do not, let me say it this way, your husband’s failure in sin does not establish your headship. Your husband’s failure or sin does not establish your headship.

Now there’s certainly a place for wives to give a respectful appeal to a husband, even heartfelt appeal, and husbands should listen and consider seriously. But a forceful domineering correction and control is the spirit of Jezebel and must not be allowed.

What did she end up like, that is Sarah? Verse 11, Hebrews rather 11:11, here’s her end. “By faith even Sarah herself received ability conceive to conceive, even beyond the proper time of life, since she considered Him faithful who had promised.” Her hope in God led God to give her that child, that one thing she wanted more than anything on earth, to provide her husband a child to carry on his name in the earth. Is it not true, ladies, that if you’ll honor God, he will give you the desires of your heart?

She’s established by God, that is Sarah, as the godly matriarch, the model for all godly women of all the ages. 1 Peter 3:6 again, “just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.” I read this somewhere, but I thought it was kind of cute. Kind of cute, but kind of convicting. And this pastor said, you know, all these years we’ve had ladies small groups and ladies Sunday school class, and they’ll call themselves sisters of so-and-so or daughters of so-and-so, but he said, I’ve never seen a class that called themselves the daughters of Sarah. Why would that be when she’s the one, the one raised up as the pinnacle matriarch model of godly women? Next Sunday, all of our ladies’ classes have Daughters of Sarah on the door. I’m not asking for that. I’d rather you just act like daughters of Sarah. Amen? We’ve got enough symbolism without substance in this world already.

So she not only becomes, gets the child, not only was blessed abundantly by Abimelech as he said, “I’m vindicating you and bringing all these material blessings on you.” Not only does she become the model, esteemed for all the ages of all godly women to follow. Are you ready ladies? She made for herself a good and godly husband. God brought a series of surrenders and humblings into Abraham’s life so that in the remainder of her life she had the kind of husband that perhaps you could more joyously submit to. He was kind of a scoundrel at the beginning. You see, that’s how you fix your husband. You don’t fix him, you cooperate with God to fix him. Are you hearing me, ladies?

Here’s the key to fixing your husband. Look at 1 Peter 3:1 and 2. It’ll be on the screen. 1 Peter 3:1 and 2. Is it on the screen? There it is. “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.” That’s that quiet, respectful behavior as as as honoring their headship. Now here’s the key phrase. Now he says, wives, you can you can work with me to get that man fixed if he’s disobedient to, definite article, the word, God’s will for him. Here’s what you cannot do. “I want to make him the man I want him to be.” No, no, no, never! You go to God and say, “God, I want to cooperate with You so that you can make him the man You want him to be.” That gets God’s attention because you’re not God. He’s not real concerned with what you want him to be. He’s very concerned about what he wants him to be. And that’s why he says disobedient to the word. So you go to God and say, “God, I’m gonna honor this man’s headship. I’m gonna respect him. If I mess up, I’m gonna ask forgiveness and I’m gonna line myself back up. I’m gonna get back in my lane. And God, I trust You to break him and cause him to become obedient to the word. And whatever that means, God, I’ll be happy with it.”

I’ve uh I’ve seen this happen. I’ve seen ladies walk these truths and their husband gets saved and all of a sudden he starts cleaning up their life and cleaning up their homes and cleaning up where they go and cleaning up where they’re doing. I’ve seen the wives get frustrated. “Well, I didn’t want him this holy. Doggone didn’t know I’d have to give up all this today. Now he’s giving tithes and offerings. Then Brother Jeff comes up, said a million dollar sound system, he wants to give money for the sound system and here he goes. I didn’t want all of this!” You better get your heart right with God and say, “God, I want him right with the word and whatever that means, God, that’ll be good with me.”

Well, what a model Sarah is. Last thing, we’re done. I know I’m going a little long, but I want to unload this. I want to birth this whole baby and move on because look, I’m serious as I can be. If you’re 40 and up, I’m handing this baton to you ladies. That’s what the Bible teaches. I’ve given you strong, clear, thorough truth. Now ladies, what are you gonna do with it? I already know what you’re gonna do, because I know what you are, and you’re gonna be faithful. Not perfect. You’re like your pastor. We’re all repenting and growing, but you’re gonna you’re gonna take this baton and go with it. But here’s a key thing, because the title of this message is, “Submissive Wives and the Glory of God.” Look down there at the end of verse uh 5 in Titus chapter 2, “So that,” of the, among other things, ladies, “be kind, being subject to their own husband so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” That’s what matters, ladies. That’s what matters. Dishonored means spoken evil against. You see, the world knows what I’m teaching is right. They’ll never admit it. They know it’s right. God’s put his law in their heart and a conscience in their heart. They know it’s right and they’re convicted about it. And they’re watching you, ladies. Those ladies out in the world are watching you. Not only you’re a Christian, you go to the cult called Grace Life Church, as some would call us, just for believing the Bible. They’re watching you and if we violate God’s truth as a pattern of our lives, it leads them to view God and his word with contempt. “You serve God, you go down to that church, you’re supposed to be a godly lady, and you’re no different than me, as far as the way you view your husband and act toward your husband. What about those Bible passages on submission?” See how they dishonor God and his word when we give them occasion to do so?

Every lady in this room this morning, you’re either leaning towards Jezebel or you’re leaning towards Sarah. Every one of you. Lean on toward Sarah so that our God and his word are not dishonored but their mouths will be shut. God’s word is true and God’s word does work because I see the restful, peaceful, contented joy in those ladies’ lives that hold to that word. To him be glory in the church and in the ladies of the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. You still love your pastor? Well, I love you. That’s why I give you the truth and that’s why I’ve spent tons of my energy trying to combat the vicious attack on womanhood that has come way too far into the church. But the Bible says when the enemy comes on like a flood, God will raise up a standard against it. Ladies, you are the standard of God. Show the world God’s strength in your quiet, powerful dignity and honor of God’s word. The feminists of this word are loud because they’re weak and they’re scared. That’s why you don’t have to be loud. That’s why Sarah could have a gentle and quiet spirit because she had strength. Amen.