Transcript

Well, let’s all turn over to 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Let me read the text. We’ll be in 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 and I plan on being brief, comparatively speaking. Because when you pick up in verse 10 he begins to give instructions about divorce and remarriage and I didn’t want to hurry that. And so we’ll look at this first section, 1 Corinthians 7:1-9. “Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does, and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and then come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift form God, one in this manner, and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they dot have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn”.

I’ve entitled the message, “Sex and the Married believer.” Now by way of introduction, let me remind you that a lot of 1 Corinthians, and particularly this part of this chapter is a response to a specific question that was put in a letter that was sent to the apostle Paul, of course, earlier. So he writes this letter back and in this letter he addresses many of the serious problems in the church at Corinth, and now he’s getting the sum of the specific questions they asked about. So he’s giving a specific answer, to a specific question, so right here in this chapter, we are not getting a theology on marriage.

This is not an exhaustive explanation of the biblical view of marriage, but it is a very important and pertinent truth for married believers. So evidently they have been asking questions about marriage, and about singleness. Now due to unwholesome influences, some in the church believed that singleness was to be preferred. They thought you really could not be spiritual if you were not single.

One historian noted that it was thought that some of the married believers in Corinth were actually divorcing one another, because they thought the best way to be holy is to be single so you can give undivided attention to the Lord and his work. So it is very possible some of these immature not grounded, new believers were actually divorcing their spouses so they could “be more spiritual,” which of course was heretical. And then some believed, due to the extensive immoralities in the Corinthian culture, and you remember in this day the, they would use the word to Corinthianize meant to have relations with a prostitute. Immorality was so rampant, it was such a promiscuous culture, that many in the church were overreacting to that, and so they were beginning to teach that within marriage, you should basically practice celibacy. At the most you should have relations as husband and wife for procreation but only that. And so that’s sort of the back drop setting of 1 Corinthians chapter 7, beginning in verse 1, and particularly through our text down to verse 9.

Now let’s look at verse 1, still by way of introduction. He says, “now concerning the things about which you wrote”. Now he says, I’m going to get to all these matters you asked me about, then he says, “it is good for a man not to touch a woman”. Now that phrase “touch a woman” is well applicable to this age and that is in this day intercourse of a sexual nature was expressed by saying touching. To touch a woman meant to have intimate relations with her sexually. So what he’s saying there, is this is his way of saying, it is good to remain a single person. But if you don’t mind writing in your Bible, if it has the word “good” where he says, “I wrote to you it is good for a man not to touch the woman”, put these two words by good, “not better”. Not better. Paul is not saying it is better to remain single, or more spiritual, or more holy, or more desirable, he’s just saying, that, if that’s the way you can approach life and we’ll see more later, if that’s the way you are gifted, its good to remain a single person, never become married, and therefore never have relations in a sexual matter with, in sexual things with someone else.

Now look at, down at verses 7 and 8, still by way of introduction. In verse 7 he says, “yet I wish that all men were even as I my self am”. Now the apostle Paul was a single person, and I believe the apostle Paul was a widower. I believe most likely he was married and he wife as passed away, maybe due to persecution, maybe she was martyred, I do not know. But the point Paul is making is, he says, I have remained single therefore I can give everything I have to the Lord, I have to give no attention to maintaining a household, I have to give none of my efforts to providing financially, or meeting the needs of my wife, and he said, I wish that was possible, that all could be like that.

Now let’s continue in verse 7. “However, each man has his own gift form God”. One in this manner, and another in that. Now what he says here, there are some very few, there are some, who have a special enabling gift to remain single. And therefore they have the enablement to remain single and never be seriously tempted in the area of sexual sin. He says, some have that gift, now its not the norm, it does not make them more spiritual, its just a special gift, they were given when they were born again. But the other ones were gifted for a normal marriage relationship, and therefore normal sexual relations.

Now if you were gifted in the way to marriage, you got that at birth, you got that at creation, so to speak, and that’s a perfectly desirable gift, just as spiritual as the other gift, and then there are very few, but a few, who are gifted when they are saved with an ability to maintain self control and therefore remain single and serve the Lord.

But Paul says, neither one’s really to be preferred, yeah, I guess it would be good if you could remain single, serve the Lord, but wherever, which ever way God gifts you, that is certainly fine. And there are some people who do have that gift of singleness. Anna, who is mentioned in Luke chapter 2, the Bible speaks of her as 82 years old, and she was married for seven years only and her husband died and she remained single, faithfully serving the Lord in his temple, praying and fasting, the Bible said. And I would say to you, if you think at all God may have gifted you for singleness to serve the Lord, you totally immerse yourself in the work of the Lord. That’s what that type of person should do. But none of this Roman Catholic dogma that to be really spiritual and close to God, you must be celebrant and remain unmarried, that is not biblical. And Paul is going to totally annihilate that whole position. And that was starting already at this time, and that’s why Paul’s addressing it, and we know that heretical doctrine took hold, because very early on, the, the roots of Roman Catholicism began and other movements and all of their priests and all their leaders have to be what? Celebrant. And single or they are not really spiritual. But that is a false doctrine, God gives some for singleness, but only a few, but the normal gifting is for marriage, and they are equally spiritual before the Lord.

Now he goes on there and in verse 8 and says something else, let’s back up verse 7 he says, I wish, I wish everybody possibly could be single, however, some are gifted for singleness, some are gifted in a way that they should be married. And then verse 8. “But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, that it is good for them if they remain even as I”. Now here we see that Paul mentions two different categories of single people. And actually in this chapter he’s going to mention three different categories.

Now let me go ahead to the third category of single person that’s mentioned over in verse 25. In verse 25 he says “now concerning virgins, I have no command of the Lord, but I given an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy”. Now he simply says, concerning virgins, and virgins there is a Greek word that means that single person who has never been married. Alright, that’s one person. Single person whose never married. Alright.

Now back over to verse 8, in verse 8 he mentions widows, and that would include widowers, men or women. This of course, is a single person, who is single because their spouse has died. Alright. Then there is a third category of single people he’s talking about in verse 8, and that is the unmarried.

Now the unmarried here, I believe, this refers to those people who were married and then divorced before they became Christians. You realize he’s writing to a bunch of people who had not been saved very long. And a lot of them, like a lot of folks in our church, came to the Lord after they were divorced as an unbeliever, and he calls them the unmarried. And basically he says, whether you are a virgin, maybe basically young people who have never been married, or if you are a widow or widower, and you’re single now because the death of a spouse, or you are an unmarried. That means you were at one time married as an unbeliever, then a divorce occurred, now you’ve been saved. What does he say to them. Its good, look at verse 8, its good for them if they remain even as I. Now again by the word good in the New American Standard, it would be good to put “not better”. He’s not saying its superior for all single people to stay single, he’s just saying, that’s an acceptable thing God may do.

Now, if, if you would look at verses 10 and 11, you see the word “unmarried again”, and this is a particular point of debate, so I’ll spend a little more time here. that, there are a lot of people would say, well, it can’t refer to them, because Paul’s giving them a freedom to remarry and different things like that, but the only time the word “unmarried”, this Greek word is used, is in this chapter. So the best way to know what a Greek word means is to follow the places where it was used and find out how its used. Well look how its used there in verses 10 and 11. Paul says, “but to the married I give instructions, not I, but the, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband. But if she does leave” her husband, that is, “let her remain” what? “Unmarried”. So he’s, he uses the Greek term for “unmarried” here for that person who is at once married and now is no longer married. So that’s why I would hold that the word unmarried in verse 8 has to refer to that person who was at one time married, and as we go through 1 Corinthians 7, its going to make better sense, so hang with me and come every Sunday night, but that person who was at one time married but lost, got a divorce and now they’ve become saved as a single again person.

Now, I want to get to the body of what I believe the thrust of the message ought to be tonight, and that is concerning sexual relationships in marriage. Now, somebody asked me, said brother Jeff, you know our children are going to be asking about this when we get home, so I’m going to help you out, I’m going, I’m going to tell the children what they need to know and it will be all done, alright. Now, fellows and girls, sex is that very special wonderful God given love that’s only for mamas and daddies together. Its that very special love God gives only for mamas and daddies. Its just like the way you, mamas and daddies as parents love their children different than they love other children, well God’s given a very special love for mamas and daddies that no one else should share, but its beautiful and its wonderful and you can find out all about it later when you get married.

Alright. That covered that. Now, concerning the sexual relationship in marriage, notice first of all Paul wants to point out the principle of duty. The principle of duty. Now this is where the feminist screams and runs out the door and goes into conniptions. Alright. Because the, and I’m not going to make any apology for God’s word, just preach it the way it is.

Now look at verse 2, the first part. He says “but because of immoralities”. Now we’ve got to back up to verse 1 because the word but a conjunctive word, refers back to the truth expressed in verse 1. So verse 1 says, he says, hey, its good if you have that gift to remain single. But, let me give you a caution. But he says, singleness is good, but he says, in a promiscuous immoral culture like Corinth or even like America. A culture that is full of sexual temptation, its not expedient or should not be encouraged maybe, to seek to remain single. So he even says the culture can have a bearing on this.

In Corinth every day they walked out the door, they were bombarded with sexual temptation and opportunities to be immoral. And maybe America isn’t quite that bad yet, but we’re getting there every fast. So I think the application is very, very close.

Now, he says because of each immoralities, verse 2, “let a man have his own wife, let a woman have her own husband”. Now, Paul is not saying this is grounds for marriage. You never make the fact that we have God given sexual passions as the grounds for marriage, but he is saying, this is a special reason why believers, who had a culture like Corinth or America, who might otherwise remain single, may want to reconsider it, cause you may be putting yourself in a situation where the temptation is too strong to maintain your singleness.

Now as a side note here, let me just list five general purposes of marriage, alright. Form the scriptures five general purposes of marriage. And you can deduce some others, but these five I think fairly cover it in a general way.

Number one is procreation. Procreation, Genesis 1:28. God said, to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. That’s one of the purposes, procreation.

Number two, pleasure. Proverbs 5:18-19 is where Solomon is instructing his son, who is a younger man, to continually or always be intoxicated with the sexual love of his wife. So  the Bible pictures the marriage relationship is for pleasure also. Song of Solomon also vividly, descriptively shares about the pleasure of, of marital love.

The third general purpose is partnership. Partnership. Genesis 2:18. Genesis 2:18, God said, “its not good for man to be alone”. Now that’s a very interesting phrase, because over and over in the first two chapters of Genesis you hear God saying, he saw what he made and it was good, saw what he made and it was good, saw what he made, it was good, saw what he made, it was very good. Then he looked at Adam by himself and said, its not good. Doesn’t mean God made a mistake, he just wasn’t through. He said, its not good to be alone. Man needs a partner. And I love Dr. Adams description of the Hebrew word there, at our married couples retreat, where he told us that that means there needed to be a helpmeet for Adam, that is one suitable that fit him.

My wife told me that Mrs. Adams in her session with the ladies, talked bout how Adam gave names to all the animals. And Mr. and Mrs Dog came up and he named them dog, and Mr. and Mrs. Cow came up and he named them cow. Mr. and Mrs. hippopotamus came up, and he named them hippopotamus, and Mr. and Mrs. Giraffe came up and he named them giraffe, and then he thought, but there’s nobody for me, just a Mr. And so God gave him somebody, now there’s a Mr. and Mrs. Adam. Adam and Eve rather. Alright, the third purpose is partnership.

The fourth general purpose of marriage is the picture of Christ in the church. The picture of Christ in the church. Ephesians 5:23-32. That text makes it very clear that our marriage relationship is to be fore this community and really for other believers a picture of the way Christ the groom relates to the bride, the church. We give that picture in our marriage relationship if we’re filled with the spirit, and have a spirit filled marriage.

The fifth purpose of marriage is purity. And that’s the whole context of 1 Corinthians 7, verses 1-9, and particularly verse 2 and 9. Because what he’s saying here, because of immoralities. In order to maintain purity. In order that you will not involve yourselves in sexual immorality, you should have a wife, or you should have a husband.

Alright, now look down at verse 9, we’ve look at verse 2, now I want you to jump down to verse 9, and remember in verse 9 he’s referring back to verse 8, because he uses that conjunctive word at the first of verse 9, but, okay, let’s look at verse 8 and see what he’s talking about. Verse 8, “but I say to the unmarried and to the widow, that its good”, not better, but its “good if they remain even as I”. Then verse 9. “But, if they do not have self control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn”. That word “burn” there means to inflame with passion. His point is, one cannot be happy and one can’t serve the Lord as a single, if you are continually burning with sexual desire. Even if that sexual desire never results in actual immorality, it still is consuming you, controlling you, and so he says, you should pray and seek marriage.

Again, that’s not the grounds for who you marry, when you marry, but its one of the reasons you should seek the institution of marriage, for yourself.

Now look at verse 3 and we get to the heart of this principle of duty that we’re talking about. Verse 3. Now notice how he says it there in verse 3. He says, “let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife and likewise also the wife to her husband”. In verse 2 he said, man, let a man have his wife, and let a woman have her husband, then he says, heres’ the specific principle of duty in that marriage “let the husband fulfill his duty”. The phrase there fulfill his duty is a present imperative. It means two things. The present tense means continual action, the imperative mood means its a command. So God says this, I command husbands, continually fulfil your duty to meet the sexual needs of your wife. He says, I command wives to continually fulfill your duty to meet the sexual needs of your husband. We got any feminists with us tonight.

Listen, the world would scoff at this, the world would say hey, if there’s not all this consideration, not all of this communication, not all of these things that make it fulfilling for you and building up as a person, give you self actualization and all these things, God says, I’m not concerned about all of that, when you went to the marriage altar, you assumed a duty. To take care of and see that you fulfill the sexual pleasure of your spouse. There is a principle of duty here. Its a present imperative. Therefore he strongly sets forth that sexual rights and privileges are a normal part of married life.

In other words, sex in marriage is not the conferring of a favor. But the payment of a debt. I want to say that again. Sex in marriage is not the conferring of some favor, its the payment of a debt you owe to your spouse.

Now biblically sexual relations in marriage are sacred, they are proper and they are obligatory. Now a lot of people have a difficult time with the sacredness of sexuality because growing up in an immoral culture, you are constantly bombarded with sex that is outside of God’s parameters of blessing. You are constantly bombarded with articles, papers, novels, magazines, billboards, movies, television programs that show passion outside of the marriage relationship. So you’re continually being taught over and over and over, no, no, no, bad, bad, bad, perverse, perverse, perverse, wrong, wrong, wrong, dirty, dirty, dirty. And then we lose the concept that God designed romance and passion. Folks, its ours.

And so I would exhort you, especially with your children, when something like a billboard, a flash on the television, I tell you, I’m just getting close to yanking the cable out of the wall. I’m telling you, I just don’t know how much longer I can have a clear conscience with the filth that’s coming that sewer line that’s in my den. But, but I”m saying all of that to say when stuff like that from whatever arena comes out and maybe your children see it, don’t be negative. Say this. Say did you see that. That’s only for mamas and daddies after they are married. Are you following me. Don’t just blanketly show them that there is some kind of evil in and its not evil and negative, its just in the wrong place, amen.

They, you’ll something will flash by and somebody’s nude or almost nude, everywhere you go today, whether its a billboard or a magazine, hey, one of your children sees that, say, did you see that. You are only suppose to dress like that in front of your daddy or your mama. I mean, in front of your husband or your wife. Tell them the truth about what the word says. Now say its wrong and evil and destructive the way they are doing it, but you know that’s the way you ought to dress for your husband one day, or that’s the way you ought to dress for your wife one day. That’s not to be out here in the world though. Are you following me church. We’ve let satan deceive us, we’re ruining some people with this stuff. We’ve got to get back on target with what the word says here.

Alright, so he’s talking about this duty. So he’s saying simply here, you’ve got a duty to meet the needs, and give sexual pleasure to your spouse, not when you feel like it, not when it enjoyable, not when you don’t have a headache, not when you haven’t had a long day at work, but when they need it.

Alright, so sex is not simply a privilege, or a pleasure, Paul says it is a responsibility. It is our duty to give sexual pleasure to each other. So Paul first of all says, about sexual relations in marriage, the principle of duty.

Secondly notice the principle of ownership. The principle of ownership, look at verse 4. “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does, and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does”. Now, first of all, we’ve got to settle something in our hearts and minds, now see you’ve got to settle something as an individual right now before God. And that is that God has full ownership of your literal physical body. Settled. Nail it down, settled. God has full ownership over these fingers, over these hands, over these arms, over these toes, these legs, my hair, my face, all my sexual organs, everything about me, God has full ownership of this actual literal physical body. And we can prove that very clearly because notice what he says up there in 1 Corinthians 6:19. Remember in chapter 6 we saw that last time on Sunday night, he warned against sexual immorality, he strongly warned against it, and what does he says here. Verse 19, 1 Corinthians 6, “do you not know that your body is the temple of the holy spirit, who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own”. Verse 20, “for you have been bought with a price”. Your body’s not your’s. God owns it. God owns it completely.

Now, keep your finger there in our text, because we definitely will be back. And look at Romans chapter 12 and verse 1. Romans 12:1. Paul says in Romans 12:1, “I urge you therefore brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your body a living and holy sacrifice”. What are we to do with our bodies. Yield them totally absolutely, completely as a living and holy sacrifice to God, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

Alright, so let’s nail that one down. Listen, he created your body, your body was fallen and corrupted by your sin nature, then he recreated it, you are born again, amen, he did both. He’s bought you twice, he, he’s created you twice. He created you in creation, or in your mother’s womb, and then he recreated you, rebirthed you into is family one more time, he’s bought you with his precious blood, he’s adopted you, man, your body is his. He owns it. And listen, he has final authority over it. Final authority over it.

Now, verse 4 of 1 Corinthians 7 has particular application here. Then he says okay, since I own your body, here’s what you do to it. Wife, you do not have authority over your own body, the husband does, and likewise also the husband, you do not have authority over your own body, but the wife does. So God the one who totally owns your body, gives the authority over your body to your spouse.

And my friend, it dishonors God when you fail to submit sexually to the authority of your spouse. You see, we have become one flesh. When you got married, you are one flesh together and neither one has the right to refuse sexual relations with the other. Now its interesting that this phrase again has authority over is a present tense verb. Which means as long as you are married, its continually true your spouse still exercises the authority over your body. You do not, they do.

You know, the feminist movement today says well, its my body. Wrong. Its God’s body and he gave your husband authority over it. And men can be just as bad. Men and their big macho this and macho that, mama may not want macho. You ought to give mama what she wants, she’s got authority over your body, amen, your body wasn’t given for your pleasure, look in the mirror and get all psyched up about how pretty you are. Your body was given for your wife’s benefit. You ought to ask her how do you want me to appear, how do you want me to.., some of you may want to pray about that first, you might get on an exercise program. But nonetheless the principle remains the same. You don’t own your body, God does.

Let me say this sexual expression in marriage is not number one, an option. And it is not number two, a necessary evil. Paul says, you’ve got to understand the principle of ownership, that I own it and I give it to your spouse, to exercise full authority over it. Now we’ve got to understand that sexuality for the believer is far, far, far, more than a physical act. As a matter of fact, I believe what the word teaches in Ephesians chapter 5, we will not turn there, but you might want to look at Ephesians chapter 5 verses 31 and 32. Where, where Paul is quoting the original expression of God when God said, I’ve created male and female and a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave, shall cleave to her. And the two shall become one flesh. That certainly includes the intimate sexual relationship. And so God is saying from the very, listen, from the very beginning in the garden of Eden, before sin existed, God said I created and blessed the cleaving of husband and wife. And then he say sin the next verse, I’m speaking in reference to Christ and the church. And, in essence he’s saying, its a very real part of a sacred spiritual experience when you have intimate relations with your spouse. Its far more than a physical relationship, its the uniting of the deepest, most intimate, precious bond that God can give to anyone, husband and wife to, together in sexual intimacy.

We need to remember that God’s original plan, back in the garden of Eden, before sin entered, God’s original plan did not include celibacy, or divorce. But it did include sexuality. Originally.

So marriage was intended to be permanent, and the sexual relationship within marriage to be permanent. That was always God’s plan from the beginning. Okay, so concerning the sexual relationship in marriage, Paul said, you need to understand the principle of duty. Secondly, you need to understand the principle of ownership. And then thirdly, he says, I want you to understand the principle of abstinence.

There is a principle of abstinence, but probably not like we in our worldly flesh would come up with. Look at it there in verses five and six. In verse 5 he gives another authoritative command here, and number, verse 5, “stop depriving one another”. Now once again through heretical teachings, and probably and we see a lot of this counseling people today. Probably too there’s an overcompensation from their past. There’s likely to be a lot of people in the Corinthian church who have a background of gross immoralities. And so now all of that is negative and dirty, its when they didn’t know the Lord, and they think about the pleasures and the passions they experienced, then they get in a marriage relationship and they have those same passions and expressions and immediately thing oh, this is wrong, this is dirty. And they can’t shift gears, they can’t switch over and put a positive statement in that, or rather view of that, because for them it was so long it was so wrong.

And so overreacting to their past immorality, they started practicing celibacy in marriage, and Paul simply says, stop doing that. Don’t do that. Do not deprive one another. And then he keeps on going and says, and here’s the abstinence principle. “Except by agreement for a time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer and come together again lest satan tempt you because of you lack of self control”. Now, so let me deduce form this text, the guidelines the apostle Paul gives the church at Corinth. When a married couple can abstain from sexual relations. And that means they can avoid the duty for that time, and avoid or rather not have to, well, I can’t even say submit to the authority, because they still have authority, but anyway, there is that willingness to abstain from relations.

Alright, here it is. Here’s when a couple abstains from sexual relations according to this text. Number one, when there is mutual consent. When there is mutual consent. What does he say there. “Stop depriving one another, except by agreement”. He’s talking about fasting and prayer and getting close to God. Now you would assume, well, now, that’s just settled. No its not. Paul said, there’s got to be an agreement between both, a mutual agreement.

Number two, it can only be a limited time, a limited time. He makes it very clear in 1 Corinthians 7. Or rather 5. “Except by agreement, for a time”.

Number three, it can be only for the purpose of special devotion to God. Only for the purpose of special devotion to God. He says there, “that you may devote yourselves to prayer”. Now I think here are about three times in the Old Testament where God commands Israel to fast and come before him in consecration, wherein that command he also commands them to abstain from their marriage physical relationship. But only three times. So, so that’s the the context that the apostle Paul, A Jew would have been referring to and so he’s saying, these are only special and unique times, when there is such an overwhelming burden of life. An overwhelming conviction of your sinfulness that you really desperately need to get away and pray. Its not, its not these routine fasting times where a two days a week every week, or one day a month, that’s not what he’s emphasizing here, but rather those special times when you’re driven to fasting, because the burden is so great you cannot avoid it.

Alright, and then number four. There must be definite intentions of coming back together again. Definite intentions of coming back together again. That’s what he says. And “come together again. Lest satan tempt you, because of your lack of self control”. Now notice what he says there. I do not believe that phrase, because of your lack of self control is only for the Corinthians church, or only for people saved out of a culture like Corinth. He’s simply saying, a lack of self control is expected among married people. It is designed by God, that once you become sexually active, there is a desire and a need for that. That is much, much greater than when you were, before you were married, and when you were in abstinence from sexual activity.

That’s why its so very important that we do everything possible to help our young people stay sexually pure, because God’s designed us that once you start down that funnel its almost impossible to return. So Paul states a very important truth here. Once a sexual relationship begins in marriage, it is designed that there is a passionate bond and desire released in a person to need that regularly. And so he says, you have a lack of self control, and once you have that brief limited time of abstinence, make sure you come together again, and also it should be noted that one of the greatest times of moral failure is right after a spiritual high. That’s often when you are so vulnerable. So he says be, have special attention to one another during those times. So Paul simply is saying, the best protection against satan’s temptations is the regular payment of our marital debt.

Let me say something very, very honest to you, that we ought to be doing in Sunday school. Now we’re doing a much better job when we hear about a man or a woman commit adultery, a bout going and confronting that adulterous person. Confronting them in love, with biblical church discipline. But you know what we don’t do, we don’t go to the other party. And, in privacy and sit down and say, have you been fulfilling your marital duty to your spouse. The context of this passage says, you can prevent a lot of immoralities if you’ll obey God and fulfill your marital duties. Is that not what the text is saying, amen.

So fellows, some wife is cheating on her husband, he’s in your class, open this book, get a cassette of this message and say brother, I’m not condoning what they are doing, but are you doing what they are committed to do. Well, you don’t know, you don’t know how she treated me. I don’t care how she treated you. You said I do, and you said for better or worse, and you have some duties when you say that. And it goes both ways.

Calvin, gosh, I guess three four hundred years ago, Calvin said this about that text. That he’s really referring to the Roman Catholicism when he says this statement about those who think abstaining makes them more spiritual. He says, “therefore those who give up intercourse are acting thoughtlessly indeed as if they and made an arrangement with God for perpetual power of resistance”. What he’s saying is this. When you abstain in the marital relationship you’re assuming that god’s going to supernaturally come down and bless your partner with an unusual ability of self control. When you abstain in your relations with your husband, you’re saying, God, now I expect you to supernaturally to come down and take care of that person, because I’m not going to take care of them like you commanded me to. Folks, that is putting your wife or your husband in a situation that God never intended them to be in. They may commit the moral failure, they may commit the adultery, but based on 1 Corinthians 7, your partly responsible. If you have not fulfilled your marital duties.

This isn’t demeaning to a husband or a wife, this is a part of the.., I want to tell you one thing, its a very sobering reason why when you say I do, you’d better know you’ve got a man of God on the altar with you. So that that’s a pleasure and a joy, not a drudgery. I mean, you need to know when you say I do, I’ve got a woman of God on this altar that I’m saying I do to. Because it doesn’t matter, after you say I do, you’re responsible to God. Under the principle of duty and under the principle of ownership. To meet their needs physically.

Now look at verse 6. 1 Corinthians 7:6. Now again, in verse 6 he has that conjunctive word “but” there, so he’s referring back to verse 5. He said, but this “I say by way of concession, not of command”. Now what he means in verse 5 he said there can be limited times, where you both agree that you’re not going to have relations together. But if the point he’s saying here, this limited short term separation is not a command of God, I’m not imposing it on you, I’m just saying its allowable, but regular sexual relations are the norm for marriage. So Paul permits those limited times of abstinence but does not impose them at all.

Let me end with a quote Warren Wiersbe had on this text. Wiersbe said this, “Sexual love is a beautiful tool to build with, not a weapon to fight with. To refuse each other is to commit robbery, 1 Thessalonians 4:6, and to invite satan to tempt the partners to seek their satisfaction elsewhere”.

The reality here is, there’s some sitting in this audience tonight, who’ve gone through a divorce, that had you probably obeyed God, in this particular area, you might have saved that marriage.

There’s some of you sitting here tonight that may experience that awful heartbreak of a moral failure in your marriage and might could have prevented it had you obeyed God.

Folks, let’s just obey the word of God, amen. Let’s be honest about God and about how he made us, and about what he wants us to do, and don’t violate his principles for our lives. And you know what we’ll do. We’ll grow up a lot more healthy set of kids. When we’re honest about the way the word teaches these things.