Transcript

There’s a message that I like to repeat periodically. It’s taught in our student’s section fairly regularly but I need to just say it again from the pulpit. I guess because I had two granddaughters being presented and their parents being dedicated today or dedicated to the task of raising them for the glory of God, ah, an interesting thing happened. It happened to all three of my daughters, it happened to all three of them when they turned 13 and that was they went on their first date…with me. You don’t think I’m foolish and stupid enough to send them on a date with somebody when they’re 13, do you? And if you’re doing that, you’re a dummy. You need to stop it. You need to start being a father. We don’t do that kind of stuff, take you out and beat you with a rod somewhere and help you understand some things. Well, that’s what the Proverb says to do to a fool.

They went on their first date with me and I had, um, created for them a purity ring, they’re often called purity rings, but as I looked at the purity rings being used, I thought, “Man, we need to meet, make this more thoroughly biblical.” They were good but I wanted to create one that I thought was more completely biblical so I created what I called a seven stone ring, and, um, so we had our dates together and I gave them a seven stoned ring and we had sort of a parent or father/daughter covenant and I want to preach on that this morning.

A matter of fact, we’ll start with the first stone in that ring, it was a pearl, and the body of what I’m going to preach to you this morning is the body of what I would teach to them, and so if you’re a, a younger married couple, a dad, um, you’ve got children, then this can be applied to boys or girls. You need to etch in your mind how you might want to approach this, ah, so that when your daughter turns 13, you can have one of these, ah, parent/child covenant dates and present them with their own ring. It’s a ring of purity.

Now first of all, the first stone in there, the middle stone is a pearl, and that stone speaks about our dear children’s precious and great value to us. A pearl is an item, it’s a gem that speaks of great value. In Matthew 13:46, the Bible says, ” and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.” The Lord used the symbolism of a pearl to express something of immense value and, of course, the greatest value of all is the Gospel, whatever it takes to embrace the Gospel is worth whatever you do. Well, also, I wanted that pearl in this case to speak of the great great value of my daughters. I wanted them to know, “You are of great value. You’re, you’re much too valuable to me than to misuse yourself in impurities before your wedded day. You’re a great great value.”

Also in the Bible a pearl speaks of great purity and, of course, that’s the purpose of a purity ring, it’s a covenant devotion, a covenant commitment. Now listen to me: this isn’t just a covenant commitment that the child makes, it’s a covenant commitment that the family makes, that moms and dads make with their sons or daughters, to work together for God’s best in their life and particularly in their future spouse.

In Revelation 21:12, the Bible says and the 12 gates were 12 pearls, each one of the gates was a single pearl. In other words, that’s, the pearl is there because of the great purity of heaven.

Now a, a, a pearl is made in the natural world when a foreign object, usually a tiny grain of sand, gets inside an oyster shell, and that oyster produces what’s called nacre, and it’s sort of a defense mechanism and it keeps putting layer after layer after layer after layer after layer of that nacre around that, ah, foreign object or grain, and, and lacre is made up of millions of microscopic crystals and as one hardens and the next one hardens, and the next one hardens, you get this beautiful white with a rainbow effect iridescent, ah, sheen that’s just nothing else on earth has it, and it speaks and it reflects of great purity, and, ah, we, we, we tell our, our, our boys and our girls that that purity is what we want you to have. God’s called you to purity before your wedded day.

Now think about it, that little oyster works really hard. It takes seven years to create that beautiful pure pearl, so a commitment to purity is not easy. We’re not in this thing together as Christians in this local church to find out how we can accommodate the culture by twisting Christianity and pressing it into the world’s mold. This may be challenging, it may be difficult, you may spend some weekends alone at home, but we will not back up on God’s truth because the world is going to hell. We can still strive to be what God’s called us to be. Could I get a amen there? None of us have arrived but we can all strive to honor the Lord in these things.

So I would tell my daughter, “Sweetheart, that’s why you have a pearl there in the middle, because you are of inestimable value to us and to the Lord, and we want you to make a covenant commitment with us that you will be pure before the Lord until your wedded day.” Then there are six diamonds around the pearl. The first diamond speaks of who else but God himself. That’s the most important, ah, stone in the whole ring, actually, because God is the most important of everything we’re talking about.

Now let’s talk about God for a moment in a general way. First of all, he owns me. Now think about that from, don’t let that just go over your head. God owns you. You have a Creator. Listen to me, liberal, listen to me, radicals, you did not create yourself. You have a Creator and he has every right to dictate unto you what your value should be and what your principles of conduct should be. Could you just let that by the power of the Holy Spirit settle into the marrow of your bones, “I am created. I have a Creator.” Now I wouldn’t preach it to my daughters like this while on a date. Dads, we’ve gotta be gentle and we’ve gotta be kind, amen? And I want to press that home in this present world where everybody’s become his own little god and every man seeks to do what’s right in his own eyes. I’m gonna tell you, that’s never right because you have a Creator who owns you. Psalm 139:13 says, “For thou didst form my inward parts, thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb.” You remember when our former President famously told men who’d given everything they had and by the sweat of their brows built their own businesses and he said, “You didn’t build that, other folks did.” Remember that statement? “You didn’t build that, other folks did.” Well, I think he’s wrong on that point, but when you think about you yourself, you didn’t make you, someone else did, your Creator. He decides what’s right for us. He decides what’s wrong for us. Are you listening this morning? He decides what’s evil and he decides what’s good. Not this culture, not society, and not progressive liberals. He is our God. He decides what’s right and what’s wrong. “Well, pastor, everybody’s doing it.” It doesn’t matter if everybody was doing it in Sodom too, and God destroyed all of them. Right is always right even if no one’s doing it, and wrong is always wrong even if everyone is doing it.

He owns you by creation and, secondly, when you’re saved, he owns you by recreation. He created you one time in your mother’s womb, then when he saves you by the work of his Spirit, he recreates you again. The Bible says in Ephesians 2:10 concerning this new birth, this new creation, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” In many ways, the Bible speaks of God’s re-ownership of us when we become Christians. The Bible speaks of us being bought with a price. The Bible speaks of, of us being born again, birthed into his family. The Bible speaks of us being adopted as his children, and the Bible speaks of us being sealed by his Holy Spirit as his authentic property. You are not your own. God Almighty, God made you in the womb, God recreates you through Jesus Christ in the new birth. You have an Authority, you have a God and he dictates unto us what we are, who we are, and how we’re to live our lives.

“Sweetheart, I wanna tell ya, you are owned by God and He has ordained these things.” Well, my life and my body, the Bible says, are for his glory. In Romans 6:12 and 13, “Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body that you should obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.” Do not go on presenting your bodies to be instruments of unrighteousness. In other words, you’re to be going in a different direction now that you belong to God. Sure, there’s failures and, sure, there’s, there’s weak moments and, sure, there’s times for repentance, but you get back up because the text says do not go on doing that.

We can be striving for purity. Why? My life and my body, your life and your body belongs to the Lord. The Bible says that your body is the temple of God. Literally, it’s the temple of the Holy Spirit. 1 Corinthians 6:19, “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?” And here’s something we want to say to our sons and daughters early on, and by the way, we, I, I, I’ve talked to Brother Matt and he’s gonna talk to Brother Nathan Mangrum(ph), who’s helping us with our children’s department and we’re gonna begin having an annual meeting with parents when their children get maybe six, seven, eight or so, because, guys, now listen to me, listen to your pastor, you’ve gotta start young teaching these things in your home. I don’t mean sit down in a formal way, but just as you live your life teaching and reminding them of God’s principles concerning moral purity. You cannot start when they’re 16. As a matter of fact, if you’ve not started, then you’ve got to be careful and, and, and, and gracious about the way you approach this thing because you’re very late in the game, but that’s not to say older kids can’t yield to the Lord and can’t honor the Lord in their lives either because they can.

God designed us all to be a one woman man or a one man woman. We want our children to be thinking of that principle, “Sweetheart, there’s one man for you out there. There’s one man God has ordained for you and we want you to be striving to meet this ideal God has given you.” Or if you’ve got a boy, “Son, there’s one woman God’s ordained and you need to live your life with that truth in mind.” The Bible says very clearly in Exodus 20:14, “You shall not commit adultery.” That’s one of the great great failures of the church. Many decades ago, Southern Baptists threw out the concept of accountability and discipline and we kind of winked an eye at adultery, then we winked an eye at fornication, and I said it was coming decades ago, now we’re beginning to see Southern Baptist churches embrace homosexuality. What’s next? You think these things just stop? You turn lose the depraved fallen lust of men to do whatever they want, it doesn’t have a stopping point. The church of all places ought to have standards, God’s standards.

So this first diamond is your Lord. He created you, and then he recreated you. He owns you. Your life and your body are for his glory. Your body literally is the temple the Holy Spirit of God dwells in, and God has designed you for one man or for one woman. Diamond #2, I would say, “How this diamond represents your parents and what I will remind you of is God has given you your mom and dad as your authority. We are your God-given authorities. We will answer to God for how we lead you, how we parent you.” Romans 13:1 and 2 says let “Every person be in subjection to the governing authorities,” then broader from that, “For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.” God established. Listen, all of us live under God-ordained systems or lines of authority and for a child, a young person, they’re under God’s authority. You need to explain that to your children early on in their lives and how this ties in to your purpose to protect them during their teenage years and their courtship years.

Proverbs 1:8 reminds us, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction And do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” Stay under their authority. But not only are they given as your authority, here’s something you need to understand if you’re a young person: God gives your parents as your protection. They are to protect you. In the writing of the Proverbs, the writer writes to his son about growing up as a young man. He said, and he tells him, in effect, “I want you to honor the words of God and honor my teachings to protect you from the strange woman.” The Bible speaks of that immoral seductress or seducer, whether it be a man or a woman, and speaks of them as strange, they’re outside the realm of the one you should be with, and it’s a parent’s responsibility before God to guard their children, guard their sons and guard their daughters, and by the way, one of the great great great failures of men today is they don’t guard their daughters and protect their daughters until the marriage day. You ask my son-in-laws how I was. I wasn’t easy all the time. First thing they had to do, they had to go to the farm and work. I got some good ditches dug, some good water lines put in, made me wish I had a few more daughters, I got some more projects I’d like to get done. But until that day when I gave them over to that young man, he understood, “She is not mine. She’s under her dad’s authority.” And that’s the way I want them to raise our grandchildren and I’m confident these are good men, that’s what they will do.

God has ordained that parents shapen children. It’s like the father is a hammer and the mother is a chisel and the child is that diamond in the rough that God’s shaping into a responsible person with character and dignity and good principles. Now the hammer and the chisel do not symbolize the relationship of mom and dad, okay? That dad’s hammering on her all the time, that’s not what I’m saying. It just shows that under the father’s leadership and through the mom, too, the children are shapened for the glory of God.

Ephesians 6:1-3 reminds us, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise).” Now notice, “that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” Here’s the point, young people: God gave your moms and dads to be spiritual and godly and active in your life as, as authorities and they will protect you and if you will follow that, then God’s given you a promise you’ll live long on the earth, you’ll have the protections you need, but if you get out from under that authority, if you rebel against mom and dad, I know what some of you say, “Well, my mom and dad aren’t very good Christians and they don’t do a very good job.” Yes, but God can do a good job through them. You honor them and you pray to the Lord, “Lord, I’m trusting You to protect me through my mom and dad, flaws and all,” and watch and see how faithful God is in all of these things.

So the first diamond was God himself, the second diamond is your parents, and I’d say now the third diamond represents your church family, and you want to maintain your purity before the Lord so that you will always be a good example to your church family. You are to be an example to them. We need to teach our children that you don’t just go to church because they have a fun youth program. Men, would you grow up and quit being a sissy spiritually? Teach your children why we go to church, why we belong to certain churches. It’s not for the next amusement, it’s for the biblical principles we love and believe in.

Now, I, I had a, had a person who was in my, ah, youth, youth ministry, good night, almost 40 years ago, who reminded me just in the last couple of weeks, she said, “Remember you used to always say we’re not here to have fun as the church but we do have some fun while we’re here?” Are you with me, church? We’re not here just to have fun but we do have some fun while we’re here.

So we want our sons and daughters to grasp early on, “You have a responsibility to the church. You want to be a good example to them.” Paul had this concept in his mind where he said in 1 Corinthians 9:27, ” but I buffet my body and make it my slave, lest possibly after I have preached to others, I myself should be disqualified.” Paul said, “I know I have a responsibility to maintain the kind of reputation that’s an encouragement to God’s people,” and our children should be taught that, in one way they do this is by maintaining moral purity. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 says, “Abstain from every form of evil.”

So that third diamond represents the church family. Well, let me say this first before I go on. You must teach your sons and daughters, and I would teach my daughters that not just at this meeting at 13 but all through their childhood, that you are accountable to your church elders and to your church family, and we don’t, ah, resent that, we welcome that. I would not belong to a church that didn’t believe in accountability and discipline. There’s no reason to. This isn’t a social club with a, a few religious, ah, ah, overtures and a, a, a fairly decent teaching on moralities. This is not what a church is. We’re the body of Christ and we need each other, iron sharpening iron and one man sharpening another. If you’re not willing to correct my daughters and you’re not willing to correct my grandchildren, then you’re failing in your job as a church member. Now you don’t, ah, ah, ah, ah, usurp my place as the father but you have a responsibility to help me to raise my children, now my grandchildren, for the glory of God.

I’ve said it many times but Hillary Clinton says it takes a village to raise a child. She’s wrong, it takes a church to raise a child. I don’t trust some of those folks out in the village but I vetted you and I know what you’re supposed to believe. Amen? I do trust you to come alongside me and that’s why and I don’t know how to say this any other way, I love you and I’m not trying to beat you up this morning, but look, some of you let your children go AWOL on a lot of the ministries we have around here and you must stop it because you need your church family to help you in this journey. Quit forsaking the help God’s given you. And you’re looking at a church staff that has decades of credibility. We know what we’re trying to get accomplished for the glory of God through your children. You stand with us and work with us, look at us as your co-laborers in this process of raising children for the glory of God.

So I would tell my daughters, “Remember, you’re accountable to this church family for your conduct.” Alright now, the fourth diamond in the ring, fifth gem overall but the fourth diamond is your siblings. Your siblings. Notice that the Bible says in John 1:41 and 42, “He,” which is Andrew, “found first his own brother Simon and said to him, ‘We have found the Messiah’ (which translated means Christ). And he brought him to Jesus.” Do not we have a special responsibility to those in our immediate family? As, as, as Timothy or, or, or Paul will teach Timothy about widows in the church, he’ll tell him that widows ought to be first cared for by the immediate family, and those who do not have an immediate family, then the church gets involved to make sure they’re cared for.

I have literally called businessmen in our church and, whom I’ve talked to a widow lady and I know she’s going down there to buy something from them, and I’ve called them and I’ve said, “Now look, Sister So-and-so is coming down there to buy something. Now look, the Bible tells us that God looks after widows and I am too, make sure you give her a good deal. Make sure you don’t take advantage of her.” Now I knew the brother wouldn’t do that but I wanted him to know that’s the way we need to be with widow ladies, the church comes in and takes care of them.

What are we talking about here? We’re responsible for each other and in the immediate family we’re responsible for each other and you want to be a good example to your brothers or sisters and maintain purity in your relations until your wedded day.

The fifth diamond represents your future spouse. Your future spouse. God, indeed, has designed one man and one woman for one lifetime. As a matter of fact, let me go to Genesis and just read this right quick. Genesis 2:20 through 24. “The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, ‘Now this is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; and she shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.’ For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” That’s God’s intent from the beginning, one Adam, one Eve, one man, one woman. That’s God’s original intent. Now sometimes sin messes things up and I, I, I assure you, brothers and sisters, our position is a biblical position and that is that God forgives and there’s a new start for those who know Jesus Christ. But we want, we don’t want to teach our sons and daughters that even if mom and daddy failed at a place or two, and maybe grandmother and granddaddy failed at a place or two here, but we don’t want to teach our sons and daughters so it’s okay for you too. No, we want to teach them the original intent of God that is best and wisest, one man, one woman, one lifetime.

It glorifies God when we commit ourselves to live pure in view of giving ourselves one day on our wedded night to our spouse. The Bible says in Hebrews 13:4, “Let marriage be held in honor among all and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” There’s three classifications here. There’s the fornicators, sex outside of marriage commitment. God did not give the wonderful pleasure of sexual intimacy to be squandered and wasted and defiled in fornications. It’s too precious a gift. It’s too holy. It’s too special. It’s for the marriage relationship. They’re the fornicators. They’re the adulterers, those that violate the covenant of marriage and have relations with someone who’s married to someone else. An adulterer, and then he said there’s those who have the undefiled experience of the marriage bed. God has ordained that he has one for you in the future, a future spouse, and you must keep yourself for that person. And here’s something to think about: if God’s got one woman for you, young man, don’t you hope she’s keeping herself for you? Young lady, don’t you hope that that man out there is, he’s keeping himself for you? Think in terms of God is designing all these things and God is behind all these things.

The sixth jewel and the seventh stone overall is maintain your commitment to purity for your future children. Your future children. Ephesians 6:4 reminds us, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Now this begins now as we begin to train our sons and daughters to, um, commit to God’s best and God’s design for their lives. So I would tell my daughters, “Prepare yourself now so that you are the best parent when God gives you children later.”

Now, if you instruct your sons and daughters in God’s wisdom from a pure heart, I believe they’ll almost always respond appropriately. Dads, we cannot be authoritarian Pharisees in the home. They need to see that we love Christ. They need to see that our devotion is to see God pleased and glorified in our lives. Now warts and all. I don’t know about you, but I’m a dad who blew it a lot. I’m a dad that had to ask forgiveness from time to time of my children, but I found that proves to them that I am a sinner like they are and I need a Savior like they need a Savior, but it doesn’t, ah, negotiate away, if you will, my authority and their responsibility to honor me as their fathers.

I don’t know how long I’ve had this but, um, ah, Taylor Beth, my middle girl, wrote this essay about me when she was eight years old and it was some kind of essay contest because I just happened to notice on here that you’re to turn this in to this company and if yours is the best, you’ll receive a free trip for the Smoky Mountains, and I never got a free trip. But I don’t know how you could do better than this. It’s entitled, “I love my daddy because. I love my daddy because he loves me. I love my daddy because he loves God. I love my daddy because he tells me the truth. I love my daddy because he takes me four-wheeling. I love my daddy because he takes me fishing. I love my daddy because he’s nice to me. I love my daddy because he finds time to play with me. I love my daddy because he’s nice to people and our animals. I love my daddy because he checks on people to see if they’re alright. I love my daddy because he takes care of me. I love my daddy because he and I have fun when we play basketball together. I love my daddy because he teaches me how to cut grass.” I think she lost that art a little later on, but she cut some grass. “I love my daddy because he teaches me how to cook some things.” You didn’t know I could cook, did you? “I love my daddy because he helped build our house. But the very best thing I love about my daddy is he is mine.”

My point is do your children see in you something that they respect? Something that they are drawn to? Something that looks authentic? Dads, the great great key element before our children is Gospel humility. Not an authoritative rule enforcer. Gotta have some rules, but gotta enforce them, but beyond that they need to see this is a man who’s a man’s man, but if I’m not careful I’ll burst into his study or his room one day and find him, he’ll be on his knees crying out to God. He’s humble before God. And dads, you can make lots of mistakes and blow it in lots of ways, I’ve signed up for that fraternity, by the way, but if your sons and daughters know you’re humble before God, it gives you a powerful credibility to guide them in the things of the Lord.

At the end of our meeting together, we have a little covenant that we sign together and we had them to put this on their wall. One side it says, “Father,” and under “father” it says, as father speaking to his child, “I will protect you from the strange man or woman,” which either one applies, of course, “I will be diligent to guard you from temptations common to young men or women. I will teach you God’s principles concerning life and marriage. I will pray for you, seek with you, and communicate with you concerning God’s choice of a life partner.” The other side is the son and daughter side. “I will accept your protection and keep myself pure for my wife or husband. I acknowledge that I’m capable of being deceived and I will make myself regularly accountable to you. I will listen and learn until I’m ready for marriage before I seek a mate. I will seek first the kingdom of God, look forward to entering a biblical relationship, and wait for your blessing before entering marriage.” And that’s a father and son or daughter covenant. We can get you some of these if you want these. All of these notes are available if you’d like to have them, but I charge you especially if you’ve got pre-teenage children, be intentional. This is just one way to help because this has gotta be more than one meeting, meeting with a son or daughter, this needs to be a lifestyle.

The seven stone ring, a parent/child covenant.