Transcript

Well, take your Bibles and go to 1 Timothy 5. Would you do that as we continue our series, “Beautifying the Bride.” As Paul writes to Timothy, he’s writing to the man he’s left behind in Ephesus to oversee the church, function as pastor, if you will, may not technically been his title but that’s the office he’s functioning in, and, ah, he’s giving Timothy, actually in one sense Paul is pastoring the church through Timothy because he’s giving him all of these guidelines, precepts, disciplines, instructions on how the local church is to be organized and how the local church is to function. That’s why we call it her fashion, how she’s structured, and her function, how she’s to function. Now, now these pastoral epistles as we call them, 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, Titus, are not he totality of all that the church is to know but it’s a great, ah, bulk of what we are to know and understand.

So now we come to chapter 5 of 1 Timothy and we’re gonna look at verses 1 and 2. 1 Timothy 5:1 and 2. Paul writes to Timothy now and says,

1 Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, 2 the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity.

So he says, “Timothy, there’s a certain way you relate to older men. Timothy, there’s a certain way as a young pastor you’re to relate to the younger men. Timothy, there’s a certain way you’re to behave yourself and act toward the older ladies, and a certain way you’re to act toward the younger ladies.”

Now as we look at this text, I want you to know I’ve entitled this exposition, “Correct Correction.” Correct correction because this text is not primarily about church relations, relations between the genders, male and female, or relations between the generations, the young and the old, and the old to the young. It’s not actually primarily about the relationship between a pastor and his people, though it does have much to say about all of those things, but the main emphasis of the text is about correction. “Timothy, as a pastor when you correct an older man, do it this way. When you have to correct a younger man, do it that way. When you’re correcting an older lady, do it this way. When you’re correcting a younger lady, make sure you do it that way.” So that’s what primarily the text is about, how a young pastor like Timothy can relate in his pastoral admonitions and corrections to all segments of his church.

Now let me say again that even thought this is addressed to a young man who’s a pastor, it’s applicable for all pastors of all ages, to all churches of all time. And by the way, these are general truths that all of us ought to be observing and following as we have our interactions one to another in the body of Christ. But this is particularly about Timothy’s role in the office of pastor, and particularly on a personal level when he is having to give correction to those in his flock.

Now let’s remind ourselves that we cannot be like Cain who asked, “Well, am I my brother’s keeper?” Well, no, we are our brother’s keeper. As Matthew 18:15, Jesus said, “Go and show him his fault in private.” This is talking about private thoughts and private correction. And can I exhort you again about church discipline at Grace Life Church, you always, always, always do everything possible to bring a correction to a brother in absolute confidentiality and in privacy unless it’s the type of sin that’s unable to do that. And in this case, that’s basically where Paul’s going with Timothy. When you are dealing with a person in a personal setting, remember how to correct them appropriately.

Now let me remind you that love must always direct our motives. Whenever you’re correcting someone whether you’re a pastor or a small group leader or just brother to brother. Sometimes people say, “Well, who does church discipline?” We do. Every church member is a part of admonishing one another, and encouraging one another, and exhorting one another, and correcting one another when, when it’s profitable or right to do so. But make sure love is the motive.

Now here’s the three things and I’ll say this several times because I want you to remember it. Make sure your motive, number 1, is the glory of God. I’m correcting this brother or sister because the glory of God’s on the line. If this sin continues on, they’re gonna dishonor God’s reputation. People are gonna see them and say, “That’s not what a Christian is like.” But secondly, not only the glory of God, secondly, your motive must be the good of the church. If they continue on, the Bible says a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough. That’s in the context of local church sin. And so if this lady or this man continues on with this attitude, disposition, behavior or whatever it is, they’re gonna create disciples after them and pollute and damage the church. So the love motive must be the glory of God may suffer here, the good of the church for which Christ died could suffer because of this sin, and then, thirdly, the good of the individual. You’re, you’re correcting them because the Bible says the wages of sin is death. If they continue on without a fight of repentance in dealing with that sin, they will destroy themselves. Notice I didn’t say anything about you, the corrector, because it’s not about you. You’ve gotta die to yourself in these things.

Now as we get into this, let’s remember the familial aspect here. He says correct an older man like a father, a younger man like a brother, an older lady like a mother, and a younger lady like a sister. He’s reminding Timothy, “We’re a family.” Can I say that to you this morning, Grace Life of the Shoals, you’re a part of an eternal family. I mean, literally this local church. We’re a loving, spiritual, eternal family. So that solves a lot of problem right there in, um, trying to rectify improper correction, it’s just to remember how do you love your family?

1. Older men are to be corrected as fathers, he says in verse 1. Correct older men as you would your father. That means with humility and with honor. He actually says specifically in verse 1, don’t sharply rebuke. The word “sharply rebuke” has the idea of “force; to strike,” it means “to bring a tone of a severity to bear.” He says, “Timothy, now I understand there’s always balance in this but as a pattern, Timothy, you don’t go to the older men as a younger man and make a sharp, forceful correction to them.” He says, “Don’t do that.” He says, “Rather appeal to him.” The word there for “appeal” is the same word that is translated “Spirit or Holy Spirit,” parakletos, it means “to come alongside.” Be like one who comes alongside and sort of mentor him, if you will, or guide him through as you’re trying to correct him. And then the word “older man,” presbyteros is the word here, older man, and that’s the word, by the way, that’s often used for the office of pastor but it doesn’t mean a man in the office of pastor here, it just means an older man chronologically, an older man who deserves honor and deserves respect.

Now this was the wisdom young Timothy was to have and if he is a brand new pastor on the field here, flew into some of the older men who have, who have earned respect and honor, even if they are guilty and need correction, it has to happen, that’s the pastor’s role, that’s all of our roles, but you’re to do so with a deference, with a humility, with a respect, with a spirit of honor for him. So they’re to be corrected but with a humbled, subdued tone and appealing to him. Remember, he is your father, because all the older men in the church are our fathers in the Lord, and your father even if he’s failed, even he, if he’s guilty in the matter, he should be reproached with this necessary respect and honor.

A couple of Proverbs that add some guidance here. Proverbs 16:24, ” Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” When you’re correcting an older man as a younger man, and by the way, that should be rare. Younger men should not go around trying to correct older men. I was in a meeting one time and in that meeting, it was a dinner meeting, there were probably 7-8 men around the table who averaged 30-50 years in ministry together, and then there was one younger man there who proceeded to correct one of those older men on a point of doctrine. Well, look, this younger brother’s a good man, he loves the Lord, he didn’t mean anything bad but it just didn’t go over well. So often it doesn’t need to be even done. There outta be some room to let the Holy Spirit deal with a man, but sometimes it has to be done and evidently so because that’s why Paul’s telling Timothy, “When you do this, you may have to correct some older men from time to time but do it as you would a father and remember that pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” And also Proverbs 15:1 gives some insight here, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Now some of you are like me, I turn 60 next Sunday. Aren’t you old. And I’m not so much the younger guy anymore. I’m getting to be one of the older guys and I’ll just be honest, it’s a little bit difficult when a young guy who’s as stupid as I was comes up and says, “Now you outta da, da, da, and you outta da, da, dad this.” Even if they’re right, it’s hard to take, but if they come with humility and honor, it’s amazing how you think, “Thank you. I can receive that.”

In, in all of your settings, especially in your household, I don’t care how wrong daddy may be, you honor your father. He has a position that deserves… He’s done things you do not know of. He’s fought fights you don’t know about. He’s walked through storms you can’t even fathom yet. Yes, there may be a point where he needs correction, but you might not even be the young guy that needs to do it. Different for Timothy, he had the office of pastor/teacher. He had to do that from time to time.

It’s been years ago, we were, it was a True Church Conference, and I was with right down here, I was with a group of men and they were mostly men who had been in the ministry 30, 40, 50 years and we were just talking theology and stuff. And a young guy runs up, he might have been 20, 21, and he just jumped in the conversation and was carrying on with us. I really didn’t think nothing about it. He got on that boy’s shoulder and pulled him upside and that hand, well, the hand didn’t say it, the mouth connected to the hand said it, said, “You need to come with me.” And he took that young man away, and I asked that staff member later, I said, “Why did you come do that?” He said, “He didn’t know his place. He’s got no right jumping in that conversation. He’s not where you men are.” I thought, “Well, I might not have done that but I know what he’s saying.”

So can I say to all of us this morning as we’re dealing with respecting older men, for all of us who are younger men and even younger ladies: know your place. Older men are to be honored and are to be respected, and even when they have to be corrected by their pastor, the pastor should remember to show them honor and respect. Equally so, well, let me don’t jump to them just yet, but let’s talk about, secondly, the younger men are to be corrected as brothers. Why do you correct the younger men in your church as brothers? Because that’s what they are. They’re my brothers. It’s not about correcting them, it’s not about me feeling as an elitist and superior. I’ve gotta make sure my motive is about them. When you correct a brother, let’s remind ourselves that you desire to win them back from error and from sin and truthfully always destruction. Sin leads to death. It leads to destruction.

Early, early on in our ministry as we talked about the very principles of correction and discipline in the church, um, Brother Tim, you hit on it so well in your presentation and people would say, “Well, that won’t work. Well, you’ll, you’ll upset the harmony. You’ll upset the unity of the church.” That is the most upside down thinking. That is the antithesis of reality. Listen, when a brother is sinning, he’s grieving the Holy Spirit and the only unity we have is the unity of the Spirit, and if he’s grieving the Spirit the unity’s already broken, the unity is already, ah, ah, being absolved, if you will. When you correct a brother and bring him back to repentance, you restore the unity, you don’t create disunity because this is a spiritual body. Now here’s what they’re really saying, “We’ve maintained a unity of the flesh around here, not a unity of the Spirit. So we kinda tolerate each other’s sins so we can all kinda get along together.” That’s not a church, that’s a false congregation. Now we never arrive at it, there’s always things that need to be addressed, but correcting one who is in willful unrepented of sin is necessary to restore and then maintain true unity in the church. But can I remind you again that our motive is this is family, our motive is this must come from love, it’s not about correction, the chief motive is love for the glory of God, love the good of the church, and then, thirdly, love the good of that individual I’m correcting.

Some guiding verses here. Galatians 6:1, “Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a,” notice, “a spirit of gentleness,” and that’s love right there, “each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted.” It says look to yourself. You’re to go to that person saying, “But for the grace of God I’d be worse than him. But for the grace of God I’d be worse than her.” That tone should be there.

Galatians 5:26, “Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another.” This is the spirit not to have, a challenging spirit. “How could you do that?” A demeaning spirit. No, no, no, no, that’s not love. Correction, yes. Timothy as a young pastor had to correct but he needs to do it with a spirit of love.

Romans 15:1, “Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves.” Do you correct someone else because, now be honest just for a moment, because it’s really about you? Can you really say, “No, it’s about the glory of God. It’s about the good of the church and it’s about the good of the individual. I’m purposing to die to myself in this.”

The firm and forceful rebuke and especially on a private level should be of last resort. I have done it but I think I can count on one hand in 40 years of pastoral ministry, and we’ve done a lot of discipline, I can count on one time, one hand the times I’ve had to look somebody in the eye and be firm and forceful in correcting. Usually it’s just not necessary. Occasionally it is but sometimes it’s, usually it’s not.

Now III, correct an older woman as a mother. They’re your mothers. Again, the familial, this is family. Again, this is, this comes from love. Now we’ve really said much about this when we talked about correcting the older men as fathers. It’s the same tone and the same spirit that we should have, but no matter the guilt, I can never see a young pastor talking harshly to a senior lady in the church. Boy, I better not ever see it.

We, ah, we have some dear dear senior adult ladies who make quilts here for missions, and, um, they needed a room. They wanted a room with a lock on it so that they could lock their stuff up and take care of their stuff, and, um, that was appropriate and some of the staff asked me about it. I said, “You have them call me.” So one of the ladies came to see me. I said, “You pick out the room, I’ll put the lock on it, it’s yours.” Why wouldn’t we be sweet to our mothers? Why would we try to prove our authority? Why wouldn’t we defer to them if we possibly could?

Now truth be known, there are times when Timothy as God’s pastor had to correct an older lady but he was to remember she deserves utmost honor and respect, and I’m to come to her with deference and humility and kindness.

Ah, we’ve got a new church plant, it’s actually kind of a replant down in Southern Mississippi and, ah, Chris Shepard is the pastor there and he, he took over this little congregation as pastor some time ago, and you’ve gotta understand this is way way back in the Mississippi woods, and this little congregation probably had 6 or 8 people on average attendance for the last 20 years, and there were two ladies that kinda kept the church going, and thank God for that, but as the years went by, one of the ladies began to count the money and the other lady kept the bank accounts, and they were the only ones who kept the bank accounts. And Chris found out that, bless her heart, one of these senior, it reminds me of the little old ladies on, on the Andy Griffith show that was making the moonshine. Bless their hearts. This little lady had started her a cemetery fund and was funneling money in it and nobody knew the cemetery fund existed, and they still don’t know where all the money came from. But she put it in there and her motives may have been pure, but at the end of the day here was the point: she had control of it.

Well, they found, actually the other lady told on the lady that had the secret fund and so Chris is 40 something, these ladies are 70 something, maybe 80 something years old, and he had to pull them aside with the other church elders and correct them. But I am so proud of Chris. He was the most deferring, honoring and sweet to those ladies but just told them, obviously we can’t do things in the church this way. You can’t take tithes and offerings and put them in a secret bank account and put your name on it. It’s just we just don’t do that. And it all got worked out and he was sweet and kind and the correction was fixed. That’s the way you handle things like that.

Now that couldn’t happen in a place like this. We have so many men who are overseeing and are accountable for our funds and God is my witness, I don’t know who takes up the money, I don’t know anymore who counts the money. I know a couple of them. I don’t know who deposits the money. I don’t know any of, I don’t want to know any of that. So there’s in a church of any size, there’s lots of accountability and that’s as it should be, but in that case, that was a special situation.

Now I will say that there has been one time I remember when I gave a fairly firm correction to one of our senior ladies who ought to have known better, who was meeting in a ladies group in town that were off-track theologically and I charged her, “Don’t, don’t do that. That’s not where you need to be.” Her husband’s deceased and as of today she hasn’t listened to me and she’s not here this morning so don’t look around and say, “Is that you?” But in that case I felt very strongly, of course I had known her a long, long time, that I needed to give a firm correction because I could see where that was going and it has gone where I thought it was going. “Well, Timothy, as a young man, as a young pastor, you have to correct the older ladies too but make sure you do it the way you would your mom. Make sure you have respect and honor when you do it.”

IV I’m gonna save for tonight, and this is the one where we’re gonna get down to where the rubber meets the road – now listen to me – about how men handle themselves around young women with all purity. That’s what the text says. Something we all need and those of you who don’t come back tonight will probably be the ones who need it the most. Just know that I love you and I appreciate you.