Transcript

1 Corinthians chapter 7 as we continue studying verse by verse, chapter by chapter through this New Testament book. And, you know we sing that chorus, Cherish that Name, and often we talk about the name of Jesus or in the name of Jesus. The name of Jesus represents all that he is. All of his character, it represents all of his wisdom, all of his guidelines, all of the practical teachings that make up who he is and what he stands for. So we’re really can’t sing we cherish that name, we stand on the authority of that name if we’re not fully yielded to honor and obey and advance the standards and the truths of his word. That’s what we mean by his name, its not just the verbalized name of in some sentence somewhere, its a statement of all that he is and all of his character.

And we come to a section of scripture that gives us some very practical instructions about his guidelines for our life. Let’s look at it together, 1 Corinthians 7:8-16. Paul actually in writing this letter to the church located at Corinth, he’s now answering specific questions and they had many questions about divorce, marriage, remarriage, singleness and things of this matter. So he is answering those and he continues with his answer in verse 8 and says, “but I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self control, let them marry, for it is better for them to marry than to burn. But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not send his wife away. But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, let him not send her away. And a woman has has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, let her not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?”

I’ve entitled the message tonight Christian Marriage in a Fallen World. Christian Marriage in a Fallen World. You know God established some things before the fall into sin and one of those was the institution of marriage, it was God’s will for Adam to have someone who was a suitable helper for him, Eve, and God instituted marriage, and then they fell into sin, and now we are purposing to live out God’s ideal in an imperfect and fallen world and it can get very difficult and very complicated to understand all that God means. I mean God’s original plan didn’t include divorce, but God’s original plan didn’t include sin either. But we have to deal with it, don’t we. Its here. So we have to go to the word of God and understand what is God’s plan for Christian marriage, now that we are in this fallen imperfect world.

Now we’ve already established the fact that morality was a real problem in Corinth. To have relations with a prostitute was to Corinthianize. Anywhere you went in the known world in this day and you say I”m going to Corinthianize it meant I’m going to have immoral sexual relations, that’s how corrupt and perverse the city was. And to understand Paul’s teachings on marriage, we need to understand the four basic kinds of marriage that was practiced in the Roman empire. And of course Corinth is a part of the overall Roman empire.

Now the first type of marriage, I”ll just call the slave arrangement marriages. This was very common in the Roman empire. This is where the owner of slaves would require or maybe allow two slaves, a male and a female, to cohabit together, literally share a tent together and that constituted a type of marriage. But often the owner for whatever reason may sell one of them or force them to, to later cohabit with another mate. So there was a lot of Christians in the church at Corinth who were salves and came out of that type of background. No telling how many types are times they had been placed by their owners in a marital type relationship.

Then there was another one that we could just call common law marriage. We see hear this in our world today. This is where two people would live together for one year and if you cohabited together in one year you were considered legally married.

There was a third type of marriage that was fairly common in the Roman empire. And that was the just the selling of your daughter to the highest bidder. We probably could not think of such a thing today, but there are many places in the world where this type of thing still goes on.

And then there was the last one, the fourth one I would just call it sophisticated marriage. And in this marriage relationship what was, was really for the most noble of families and the lot of our marriage traditions stems from this marriage. This is where they had cakes at the wedding festivities and the ceremonies, they would exchange rings, veils were worn by the bride, there was music, hand holding and many of the things that we have in our marriage relationships today. Now the church at Corinth had many people who had been saved from all of these four types of backgrounds, so you can imagine what a mixed up messed up thing marriage was in the church at Corinth. The divorce rate, matter of fact, in the city of Corinth was rampant. One historical document that archaeologists had uncovered gave the testimony, a court document rather, rather of a lady who had been married for the 26th time. Elizabeth Taylor will have to work on it a little bit to catch up won’t she.

The reasons they would give for divorce in this day, homosexuality, polygamy, the use of concubines, it was not too uncommon that the men of the roman empire would have a wife for cooking and cleaning and concubines for sexual pleasures. Also another reason for rampant divorce was the women’s liberation movement that hit the Roman empire. Women were diligently seeking to be equal with men. And so that they will not be hindered or held back, abortion became widespread, the killing of their unborn children. I mean by after all, they were equal and they couldn’t have this unborn baby getting in their way of self actualization and fulfillment like the men in the society. But also as always is true of a culture, once you allow abortion the next domino that falls is infanticide, the killing of the newborn. And so gradually, they in the Roman empire, the women especially, so that they will not be held back by having to raise a child, wanting to be equal with men, would begin killing their newborn children.

Well, that’s what was happening in the Roman empire. And incidentally, not too long after this Rome fell. As a matter of fact, history records that the Roman empire was strong an blessed and prosperous when it was very conservative in its family values, so to speak. Wasn’t Christian, but nonetheless they were honoring the principles that God had set up for the family. Then the liberal Greek philosophers entered into the Roman empire and that’s when all of these type things started coming into their culture and later the culture fell. Anyway, that was the cultural background.

So concerning marriages, and what marriage is, the Corinthians had a mixed up, messed up background. And their background is not a whole lot different than our marriage problems today. For example, about one-half of all marriages today ends in divorce. In our culture today love is highly acclaimed. Everywhere you go folks talking about love this, love that, all these love songs, everybody’s talking about love, but it is seldom evident in our culture even in marriage.

Now the Corinthian church, here we have them again, writing Paul and asking him about these situations, should we stay married, is it more spiritual to be single and actually that was being pushed and taught in the church, some married couples, after they got saved, thought hey, to be really spiritual you need to be single. So they were divorcing each other. Just in ignorance and in immaturity. And some were saying, well, I’ll not divorce my spouse, but I’ll be celibate in my relationship with my spouse. Now Paul is strongly and clearly addressed that issue, as we saw last Sunday night in verses 1 through verse 7 he tells husbands and wives that they have a duty to fulfill the sexual needs of their spouse, that their spouse has authority over their body, they do not have authority and they should stop depriving one another. Paul clearly told them the error of this thing of being celibate in marriage is more spiritual, actually he said, its not spiritual, its more carnal. Its more spiritual to be sexually active and be totally unselfish to meet the need of your spouse concerning sexuality.

So so far in chapter 7, Paul has told us that marriage is good. And marriage is the norm for the overwhelming majority of believers. Secondly he’s also said that singleness is good, not better, but its good to be single if God gives you the special ability to remain single and, and maintain self control in your sexual drive. Marriage is good, its the norm for the overwhelming majority, but there are a few people God gives that special gift of singleness and they can maintain self control.

Now when we come to verses 8 through 16 there are four different situations that a believer can find themselves in and Paul gives God’s plan for all, each of the four situations. Alright. We don’t need to tell people I think and I feel, it doesn’t matter what you think or what you feel, it doesn’t matter what I think and what I feel, it matters what the word says. And we need to be ready, folks, we have let a lot of marriages and a lot of people destroy themselves because we haven’t biblically gone after people who are struggling in this area. And so some of the, the tragic marriage failures in our own family are partly all of our responsibility. And we need to, to continually grow, I’m not saying that as a rebuke, I’m saying this as a reproof, to shine the light on it, and we need to do a better job of helping and loving one another in this area of marriage and divorce.

Alright. Four different situations and God’s plan for each situation. Situation number one, here we have God’s plan for the single believer who was married and divorced before he was saved. Alright. God’s plan for the single believer, he’s now or she’s now presently single, but they were married and they were divorced and all of that happened before they came to the Lord Jesus Christ and was saved. Now look at it there beginning in verse 8. “But I say to the unmarried”, and by the way let me clear this up and I’ll probably refer to it again, sometimes Paul is going to say the Lord says, then other times Paul is going to say, but I say. He’s not saying one is authoritative and from God and one is just an opinion. Not at all. He’s simply saying, during the Lord’s earthly ministry, God, the Lord Jesus gave us this truth and now that the Lord has ascended into heaven, now this new truth is coming from me, as God reveals it through me. So when Paul says I say, he’s not saying its less authoritative than the Lord, he’s just saying, I”m not now referring back to the actual teaching of Jesus when he was in his earthly ministry. What I”m telling you now comes directly from the Lord’s inspiration of me as God’s Apostle.

Alright, verse 10, I’m sorry, verse 8. “But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, that its good for them to remain even as I”. Now first of all, there are four situations, but I want to talk of, for just a moment, about four different types of, of, of people Paul is going to be talking about. Four different types. One is the unmarried person of verse 8, and number two is the widow, or widowers of verse 8. So there’s two of the different types of people. Unmarried people, he’s going to tell us all about them, and then he’s going to talk about widows or widowers, and then there’s a third type of person and we see that person in verse 25 and that’s virgins. Those are people who have never been married. Alright. And then there’s a fourth type of person and that’s the married person.

Let’s go over those again. There’s the unmarried, separate from them, widows or widowers, separate from them, virgins, those who have never been married, and separate from them, the married.

Now I want to deal in this setting with that unmarried person. I believe the unmarried person referred to in verse 8 is that person who when he was lost or she was lost, they were married and they’re divorced, then they got saved and now they are saved as a single again, if you will. Paul simply uses the phrase unmarried. Brother Jeff, how do you know they were married and divorced and that’s the word he uses unmarried to designate them. Well, look at verse 11. Verse 11 he says, “but if she does leave”, that’s referring back of course to verse 10, leaving her husband,”if she does leave let her remain” — what? “Unmarried”. His point was, she was married if she does leave him, then she is then unmarried. After all, what does the word unmarried mean, it means you were married, now you are unmarried. Alright. So this is referring, I believe most specifically to that person who was lost, in that lost condition, they were married, divorced, then they have gotten saved.

Now here’s God’s plan for them, number one, they should consecrate themselves totally to God. Their first and foremost desire and commitment to be to consecrate, commit, yield, submit, whatever you want to, whatever term you want to use, themselves totally to God. Now as a back drop and emphasis on this truth, look at verses 26 through 28. Paul says beginning in verse 26, “I think then that it is good in view of the present distress”. What Paul means is this. Eminent persecution is going to come upon the church at Corinth. And so everything Paul is telling them, concerning singleness, divorce, remarriage and all these aspects of chapter 7 have to be filtered through verse 26.

In other words Paul is giving them advice that is especially pertinent because they are about to go through severe persecution. Now we do get general biblical truths here, but you do have to understand the context that he knows they are about suffer in persecution. As a matter of fact if you had a, if you had a 19, 20, 23 year old daughter who was about to get married and you knew severe persecution was going to come upon your family and that daughter, you might say let’s wait for a few years about marriage, let’s stay committed to singleness right now. Under that present situation your advice might be a little different, then under a different type situation.

So that’s what Paul’s saying, verse 26 again, “I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, the coming persecution, that it is good for a man to remain as he is”. In other words, if you’re unmarried remain that way and seek to know God, seek to love God, seek to be like God, seek to serve God, with all that’s in you. If you’re now saved, and you went through a divorce before you were saved. Remain as you are. Verse 27. “Are you bound to a wife, then don’t seek to be released. Are you released from a wife, do not seek a wife”.

Verse 28, “but if you should marry, you have not sinned, and if a virgin should marry, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life and I am trying to spare you”. So Paul says, particularly since the church is about to endure great persecution if you are now unmarried, you were married and divorced while lost, you’ve gotten saved, you’re still unmarried then you ought to purpose to serve the Lord and consecrate yourself to God all that you can as a single person. One of the greatest, greatest, greatest errors the single again person makes is they start seeking a mate before they seek the Master. I caution you and exhort you, seek the Lord first. Consecrate yourself to him.

So Paul really instructs them as a general would instruct his army about to embark on an unequal conflict in enemy territory, saying, man, this is no time to be thinking about marriage under this persecution. Now we’re not under that persecution, we’re not in this context, but still the advice holds, a single person, a person whose been divorced while they were lost, now they are saved, they should seek with all their heart to seek to know the Lord and grow spiritually.

Now secondly, second God’s plan for them is to seek restoration of the marriage. Seek restoration of the marriage. Yes you were lost and yes your spouse was lost. Yes you married one another while you were both unbelievers. Yes you went through the divorce while you were unbelievers, now you’ve come to know the Lord Jesus Christ, God’s plan for you would be to seek with everything’s that in you to try to restor that previous marriage if at all possible. Of course this was somewhat contrary to the thinking of the Christians at Corinth, because they were seeking to be single thinking they were serving the Lord, so Paul gives them right the reverse. He says no, if you’ve become single, now you’re an unmarried, seek to restore that marriage if there’s any way possible.

Alright. Thirdly, if restoration is impossible, and God has not given you the gift of singleness, then seek to be married. If restoration is impossible, maybe that spouse is already remarried. Or they just blatantly obstinately refuse to even consider coming back to you. And God gives you the freedom to say in your heart, it is impossible to restore that previous marriage, and God hasn’t given me the gift of singleness, then you should seek to be married.

Now look, look at verse 9. Let’s look at verse 8 again, then following up, then follow it contextually with verse 9. Verse 8, but he says to the unmarried and to the widows, two different groups there, that it is good for them to remain even as I, that means remain single and seek the Lord, we’re already talked about that. Verse 9, but, a conjunctive word ties it to verse 8, “but if they do not have self control”, God has not given them a special enablement to maintain self control and their sexual passions are raging, “then let them marry”. That’s a first aorist imperative verb and an imperative verb means its a command of God. He’s saying I command you to let them marry. They should seek to be married.

Now I know this brings up a lot of difficulties in some of our minds, and perhaps it doesn’t fit the worked out theology we have, but exegetically in this text there’s no where else you can go with that. The aorist tense verb means finished action in past time with continued results, he means let them marry in the Lord this time and let them continue to remain in that married state. Perhaps if you had used the imperative verb we would say there’s some leeway here, but that’s what the Lord says here. Now notice the situation again, this is the person who was married and divorced while an unbeliever, then after the divorce they become a believer, they seek to know the Lord with all of their heart and grow spiritually, God hasn’t given them the gift of singleness, they seek diligent, diligently to restore the previous marriage, but its impossible to do that, so therefore they seek to marry this time only in the Lord.

Now, I’m going to tell you something, its an absolute abomination for you to come out of a marriage that wasn’t Christ centered and then walk back into a relationship with someone whose not committed to serve Jesus Christ. Its incredible how many people do that, and you are just heaping trouble upon your life and upon you family when you do that. 2 Corinthians 6:14 forbids a believer to marry an unbeliever. And I just submit to you as your pastor today on the authority of the word of God, if anybody who has membership in this church seeks to marry an unbeliever, we ought to go to them and reprove them with the word, and if they carry it out, they ought to be dismissed from membership. That is biblical, it is right, and we’re just helping people destroy themselves when we put this guise of mercy on this thing and love on this thing and allow people to do things that are going to ultimately hurt and destroy them.

Alright. that’s the first insight and guideline, the Apostle Paul gives for the first type of situation. Alright, the second situation. God’s plan for a single person who is now single due to the death of their spouse. He gives God’s guidelines, God’s plan for a single person who is now single because of the passing in death of the spouse. Well, verse 8, who does he lump with those unmarried people. He lumps widows and I think certainly that means widowers. He says, “but I say to the unmarried and to widows, that it is good, not necessarily better, but good that they remain even as I”. The widow or the widower should seek to consecrate themselves totally to the Lord. That’s the first thing. They should seek to totally yield themselves to God, to grow spiritually to be available for God. Listen, if you’re a widow or a widower, you ought to be up at the church three, four, five days a week saying, what can I do to serve the Lord up here this week.

1 Timothy chapter 3 makes it very clear, maybe its not chapter 3, 1 Timothy does that widows ought to consecrate themselves to the service of God and his work. And you, that ought to be your first commitment, God let me use my new freedom and my absence of any restraint to serve a husband or to take care of a wife, let me use that now, with all of my energies in your work and for your glory.

And then second, if they do not have the gift of singleness, they should seek marriage. If God does not enable them to maintain proper self control, then that widow, that widower, should seek to be remarried, but only in the Lord. Only to another true believer. Look at verse 9 again. “But if they do not have self control, let them marry”. Aorist imperative verb, I command you let those people marry. Then he says “its better to marry than to burn”. Now sometimes I believe in our, our lack of being thorough exegetically, we tell these people, depending on the situation now, we tell a person that is now single, uh you can, you never ave the freedom to remarry again, and we put them in a situation where they go 20, 30, 40 years with those God-given sexual passions, and we actually contribute to immoralities in their lives. And I think that’s why Paul says, I command you, let them remarry.

Now again, remember the two we’ve talked about so far is the person who was married and divorced while lost, and then as a divorced person they’ve been saved and then they start seeking what God wants in their life. The second one we talked about was the single person whose single because of death of a spouse.

Now situation number three. God’s plan for believers married to believers. God’s plan for a believer married to another believer. Now remember you, you would think, we don’t need anything addressed there. Well, the church at Corinth did, because a lot of them were breaking up think that was spiritual. And so first Paul says, that you should remain married unless your spouse is habitually, sexually immoral. You should remain married unless or its better I just didn’t want to be to wordy here, its better to say there is a concession, not an obligation, or a command, I don’t even like the word grounds. But there is a concession if the spouse is habitually sexually immoral.

Now, look at verse 10. Paul shifts gears, he was talking about the unmarried, he was talking about widows, now he says, verse 10, “but to the married I give instructions”. He says, now its my third situation. “Not I, but the Lord”. Now here’s what he’s saying. He’s saying, I’m not going to give you a new revelation from God, we can go back to our Lord’s teaching when he was here on earth and go back to what he told us. He made it very clear how a believer married to another believer how ought to be committed to that marriage.

As a matter of fact, put your Bible ribbon there and look at uh Matthew chapter 5, would you do that. Matthew 5:31-32. We do not have time to spend a lot of time here, but we do want to see the context why Paul is going back to the Lord’s teaching, because the Lord did teach some specific things about this during his earthly ministry. Verse 31 Matthew 5, “and it was said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of dismissal. But I say to you let everyone who divorces his wife except for the cause of unchastity”, the word unchastity in the New American Standard is a very general word for sexual impurities. It means a serious breach of the marriage covenant because of a serious moral failure. It could include all kinds of things from bestiality to homosexuality to adultery. To all types of things. Alright he says, “I say to you to everyone who divorces his wife except for this cause of unchastity makes her commit adultery and whoever divorces a woman, whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery”.

Now turn on over to Matthew 19. Matthew 19:5-9. Why don’t we start in verse 4. “And he answered and said to them have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female and said for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. And they said to him, why then did Moses command to give her a certificate and divorce her”. In other words his teaching was uh very strict and they’re used to Moses saying to the men, hey, if you just give her a certificate that you divorced her, you can get rid of her and let her go. She burns the bagels one morning, she’s out. Verse 8. “He said to them, because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for immorality and marries another woman commits adultery”. So Paul as far as married people who are saved is concerned, Paul goes and says listen, the Lord dealt with that.

Now there are other issues Paul says that I have to give you the direct teaching on because the Lord never encountered those situations and we have nothing recorded that he taught. But for this particular situation, the Lord’s teaching is sufficient.

Now here we have these Pharisees, saying to the Lord Jesus, now listen, Moses told the men of Israel, if you just give your wives a certificate of divorce, then you could, release her, and, and no longer be married. And Jesus said, but you don’t understand. That wasn’t God’s plan and God’s ideal, that was a concession due to the hardness of your heart. Here’s what I believe was going on and I can, I’ve studied this quite a bit to substantiate it. The men of Israel, during this period, had become so self centered, so corrupt, so sinful and so back slidden, they were actually being brutal to their wives. And, and so domineering , I mean, their wives were like property to them. And so in that situation the lesser of the two evils was to allow that wife the innocent one to escape that awful brutality. And so he simply says, in your deep, sinful back slidden condition, God allows a temporal concession because the innocent wife didn’t deserve what she was going through. But that has never been God’s plan or God’s ideal, Jesus is saying.

So it was for the hardness of their heart, granted for the benefit of the innocent wife, not for the husband just to divorce who he wants and get who he wants. As a matter of fact Malachi 2:16 simply says, “God hates divorce”. And God hates all sin. But we need to remember something else also, and Jesus says, you can’t divorce husband or wife except for the cause of sexual immorality, we’ve got to remember that in the Old Testament when you committed a serious sexual sin, you were stoned to death. So you’re quite free to remarry if your spouse is dead, amen.

Alright. In the Old Testament law, you committed adultery, you were stoned to death, so hey, I’m a widower now. That’s very true. Now in the dispensation of grace in the church age, God shows mercy. It is no longer God’s law and God’s rule that the adulterer be stoned. So therefore God says I”m not going to punish the innocent one who didn’t commit adultery, because I’ve had mercy on the one who did commit the adultery. So therefore that innocent one is free to remarry, divorce and remarry, and the and and they should not be punished just because I’m showing mercy on the guilty one in this age of grace. You follow what I’m saying there. That’s a very, very important principle.

And again, very possibly it was happening in the church at Corinth, they were divorcing their spouses simply to be more spiritual. Which was a warped, a misunderstanding that they had been given by false teachers. So the first thing he says for believers married to unbelievers, you should stay in that marriage for life. And there is a concession, not that God encourages, but there is a concession for habitual, willful sexual immorality.

Second, God’s plan for believers married to unbelievers, is that if they do divorce their spouse, which was pro, probably happening and that’s why he alludes to it here, if they divorce their spouse for some sort of special reason that they’ve concocted, then they are required to either be restored to that marriage or always remain unmarried. Now notice how he says that, turn back to 1 Corinthians chapter 7, and look at how he says that there. Verse 10, “but to the married I give instructions, not I but the Lord”. The Lord talked about this. What did the Lord say. Verse 10, continuing, “that the wives should not leave her husband, but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And that the husband should not send his wife away”. Now here, I believe this is what Paul is doing, you can never properly interpret a passage of scripture unless you know the historical and scriptural context. And the contextual setting I believe this is what Paul is saying. Some of you thinking you are pleasing God have divorced your husbands or your wives. He said, but I want to follow your logic on out. Now if you had divorced them thinking you are more spiritual being divorced, realize you can never every, ever marry anybody else. And that the only option you have when those God given desires come back and they will, is to go back to your spouse. So I think he’s simply saying, this is not some sort of basic teaching for all cultures of all ages, this is a particular application to their particular illogical thinking that singleness is more spiritual than being married. He says, okay now, if you divorced because you think that’s more spiritual, you can never ever ever remarry, and number two, you must go back to your original spouse if you if you want any relations with anyone ever again.

Now, so two believers, Paul clearly says were not to divorce and if they did, for whatever reason, first of all that would have been sin, if it wasn’t sexual immorality, they were to remain unmarried. Now I believe in the case of sexual immorality, they are free for remarriage, I think the scripture text makes that clear, but if you did divorce for any reason other than the moral failure of your spouse, then you are bound to stay in that unmarried position before the Lord.

Alright, that’s God’s plan for a believer married to another believer. Now he gives a fourth situation here and that is God’s plan for a believer married to an unbeliever. No way shape or fashion is this talking about a saved person who willfully married a lost person. This is talking about two people that were married and they were both unsaved and then the gospel was brought to the city of Corinth and one of them has been saved and one of them rejected Christ. So one of them is now saved and one of them is a Christ rejector.

There was a lot of discussion, lot of misunderstanding about what are we to do in that situation. Well, Paul gives them some guidelines. Here’s the first one. The believer should seek diligently to remain in that marriage. One whose the believer should seek diligently to remain in that marriage. Look at verses 12 and 13. “But to the rest”, he’s talking about people in other situations, other than the ones I’ve already referred to. “But the rest I say, not the Lord”. Again, he’s not saying this is not inspired, he’s saying the Lord didn’t’ teach on this aspect of divorce and remarriage during his earthly ministry. “That if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever and she consents to live with him, let him not send her away”. And then verse 13. “And a woman who has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, let her not send her husband away”. Very clearly. You were both married when you were unbelievers, since then you’ve heard the gospel, one of you has gotten saved, the other one has rejected Christ but that does not break the marriage covenant, the saved spouse is suppose to be committed to make that marriage work the best they possibly can.

Now look at verse 14. “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through is wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband, for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy”. What in the world does all of that mean. You wouldn’t believe what kind of spiritual gymnastics people have gone through on this on, verse. I believe all Paul is saying is this. Some of them were scared to death. Here I am, I’m saved, I’ve come out of pagan idolatry, but my husband or my wife is still a pagan idol worshipper, who, who, who participates in the rites and the rituals of gross paganism, how in the world can I honor Christ and be married to that thing. And they felt like the judgement and, and, and the cursing of God was now on their lives and their children if they stayed married to that spouse. Paul is simply saying this, he’s saying, no, no, no. You will not limit the blessing of God on your family by staying in that marriage. You will not hurt the blessing of God on your children by staying in that marriage. Stay in the marriage. You are not in any way cursing yourself or hurting yourself by maintaining that marriage relationship. And again, remember the background, both lost, one got saved, one rejected Christ.

Alright. So first he says, the believer should diligently seek to stay in that relationship. Secondly he says, if the unbelieving spouse insists on leaving, let them leave. If the unbelieving spouse insists on leaving, let them leave. Look at verse 15. “Yet if they unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother or sister is not under bondage or enslavement in such cases, but God has called us to peace”. Now here’s his point. The believing spouse, the saved spouse cannot divorce the unbelieving spouse. Generally speaking. But the unbelieving spouse can divorce the believer. He said, if there’s going to be a divorce, make sure its the one whose not saved who seeks the divorce. And he says, God’s called us to peace. In other words, if that unbelieving spouse fights your constantly, fights you constantly, hates your God, hates your Christ, hates your standards, hates your convictions as a Christians, constantly want out of the marriage, there’s no crack or ray of hope, he says let them out. God’s called us to peace.

Here’s what McArthur, a very able expositor says about this text. “If you legally hold someone in a marriage”, now this is again the context if they are lost and unsaved and you’re saved, “if you’re legally holding them in a marriage, and they are determined to leave, you may actually hindering your prospects of reaching them”.

Now look at verse 16. “For how do you know a wife, whether you will save your husband, or how do you know o husband, whether you will save your wife”. Now I believe this is what he’s saying, in verse 16 I believe he’s referring all the way back to verses 12 through 15. Here’s what he’s saying, he’s saying, I think its a statement of hope here. Now some would take this last statement to encourage the divorce, the encouragement of letting them leave. I don’t believe that. I believe what he’s saying is, you as the saved spouse, doing everything you can to keep that marriage together, everything you can to have a strong marriage bond, everything you can to keep the unbeliever from leaving, and then even if they are determined to leave, and they are just consistently fighting you to that end, and you finally, honoring this biblical principle, let them leave, the whole motivation of your heart is that even through that act you might somehow reclaim and restore the marriage. You are not running for an option to get out, because you’ve noticed somebody out of the corner of your eye across town. Your whole motive is if I have to go through with the divorce, it is to the end that that itself may help me reach them for Jesus. And rebuild our marriage again. That’s what i believe he’s saying. “How do you know o wife whether you might save your husband, or how do you know o husband, whether you will save your wife”.

Now let’s review these real quick again. God simply says, first of all, the single believer, who was divorced or married and divorced while he was lost, and now he’s saved, man, he should seek to serve the Lord, he’s to remain single, if God hasn’t given himself control, then he is to be allowed to marry. Then he talked about the one who is single due to the death of a spouse. He says, if your spouse has died, then purpose to seek to honor God, and know God and grow in the Lord as a single, with all of your heart and soul, if God has not given you self control, seek to remarry, but only in the Lord. And then he talked about his plan for believers married to believers, they should with all of their hearts seek to keep that marriage strong, and there’s only one concession that God doesn’t actually encourage, certainly doesn’t command or demand, and that is if there is a failure, morally in the marriage, and there’s no ray of hope of that spouse coming back, God gives us concessions for divorce and therefore the freedom to remarry. And then a fourth situation, the person who was married to an unbeliever while they were an unbeliever, and one of them gets saved, the other rejects the Lord Jesus Christ. He says, you do everything absolutely possible to keep that marriage together, but ultimately if there’s fighting all the time, and that person hates your Lord, hates your God, hates your Christ, hates your convictions and values, wants out of the marriage, then let them go. And he said, the brother or sister is not under bondage or enslavement, not bound if you will, I believe that means in that case that person is free to remarry but only in the Lord.

Now I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking the 64 million dollar question. You’re thinking, well, brother Jeff, I was a believer, and I sought to get out of my marriage and marry somebody else. I want to say to you that is a very shameful and evil thing to do. And Paul doesn’t give us any guidelines on that. Jesus doesn’t give us any guidelines on that. I would say this. First of all, the church has failed greatly in ignoring those situations. Failed greatly. Just going on like well, big deal, they’ll come back later with another spouse. And actually hurt the persons involved.

Well, let me say this, I believe this, very strongly. I don’t have an authoritative simple scriptural text to look at, but I believe for a person who claims to be saved, to knowingly, pre-meditatively and willfully seek and adulterous relationship and abandon his covenant commitment before God, and seek another spouse, I really have a hard time believing that person has been converted. I have a hard time understanding they are truly regenerate. And I believe if they are truly saved and they initiate to destroy that marriage bond, and find someone else, I believe God’s holy spirit will break them down.

And, and if that’s your situation, you say brother Jeff, that was years ago, and I know I blew it, I sinned against God, I shouldn’t have done it, but I’ve rededicated myself to the Lord since then, and I purposing to honor him in this new marriage. I can’t go back and erase all of that. I agree with that. I understand that and I don’t have any biblical authority to tell you to do anything different. But I would tell you, do everything you can to clear your conscience before God.

I would exhort you if you never have, to come to your Sunday school teacher or church leader and say I want to humbly submit myself to accountability and biblical counseling, I want to restore my reputation before the Lord. Now we have some people that God really uses in this church because they’ve made genuine humble repentance about those kind of acts and they have a long term reputation of walking with God now. On this side. But there are consequences and there are scars and there are difficulties that you will carry to your grave that no one can erase. Forgiven, yes. Saved, yes. Going to heaven yes. Deep scars, consequences, yes. Yes.

I don’t know where you are tonight, where God has you and God knows my heart, my goal is not to put anybody on the spot, not to beat anybody up. But I first want to tell you as the pastor, we have not been for you all that we need to be. And we’re going to try to grow to do better. You know, there was a time when every case of reproof or rebuke or church discipline just about every case in the church I was in on it. We’re just too large now. Its got to happen down line. In our Sunday school ministries.

Let’s love each other enough to go after one another. I tell you what, let’s declare war on divorce around here. And in fervent zealous love, when we hear somebody’s heading toward divorce court, we go to the house and we say now brother we love you, but we just want you to know, this isn’t an option. Whatever we’ve got to do, we’ll do it. Whatever we’ve got to spend, we’ll spend it. However we’ve got to sacrifice to help you, we’ll help you. But this is no option. We’re here not only to stop you from doing something that could destroy you and your reputation, put serious scars on your life, we’re here because we love you and we want to defend Christ’s reputation in the church.

I would just encourage you, maintain a clear conscience, start where you are. See as Paul wrote to the church at Corinth, he basically had to tell them, and we’ll see it more clearly in the remaining of the chapter, he said, how, whatever state you are in, start know and serve God. I mean you heard the background. These, some of these people possibly had been married 20 and 30 times. It was very probable. And these slave arrangement marriages, and different types that could have been daughters or ladies in this church whose fathers sold them into marriage. Awful situations. And Paul just says, if you’ve been saved you’ve clearly repented, then start where you are and go on for the glory of God.

But I would say if you were sinful in seeking your divorce and remarriage, there should have been a time and there needs to be a time when you come before a church family and you said listen, I want to confess that was wrong, I’ve repented of it, I’ve asked God to forgive me and I want to clear my testimony with my church family. And then you can start fresh and anew without that old guilt and that old cloud and that old burden. I know what satan’s telling some of you, he’s telling some of you well bless God I can go somewhere else and they won’t talk to me like this. They will lie to you, they are lying to you and they are not helping. And they don’t love you. They love you, they will tell you the truth, in love.

You know over the years, I can’t tell you the number of couples who have lined up down here and said, brother Jeff, ten years ago, 20 years ago, 20, I sinned against God in this area. Years ago I’ve gotten it right with God, but I need to publicly establish that I’m going on for the glory of God now, and I’m not, I’m not smoothing over and diminishing the seriousness of that sin, I just asked God to forgive me and I’m ready to go on for his glory now. Well, that’s a wonderful healing thing. How in heaven’s name can we raise up our children to honor the Lord when we just sort of wink an eye at this stuff. Don’t deal with it. The way the Lord tells us to.

Well, that’s something of what the apostle Paul says about Christian marriage in a fallen world.